I was in the middle of doing The Wheelhouse show when the ratings for the March 15 TNA Impact were released and didn’t get a chance to look at it until I got home to read an e-mail from the great Eric Gargiulo. In it he sent me the ratings for TNA Impact and WWE Raw from the past Monday March 15th shows. WWE Raw received a 3.7 rating while TNA Impact in show #2 of the Monday Night Wars II headed by up by Eric Bischoff & Hulk Hogan received a 0.84 rating, the lowest rating for TNA Impact in four years.
As I figured TNA had a lower rating then last week’s show but I didn’t think it would be in the .8’s! I think re-runs of the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” on Nick at Nite at 2am receive higher ratings that TNA Impact right now. Don’t hold that statistic to me, I can already hear TNA fans going “that isn’t true!” It’s all in jest but I digress.
Are the red flags waving in Nashville at the TNA offices and at the Spike TV section of the Viacom building yet? You would think right? They paid in what I’m sure is millions of dollars to bring in Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, The Band etc. You wouldn’t think so after reading Dixie Carter’s now infamous twitter page tonight after the announcement of the rating came out. Here is what she wrote:
“Although its classic David v Goliath, 1 stone will not bring down our giant, it’s a different day. It’ll take time & commitment, we have both.” – Dixie Carter (via her twitter page)
You have time & commitment do ya? Does Spike TV have the same kind of time and commitment as you do Dixie? Because if they don’t your off of a network and don’t have an outlet to take down Goliath.
This isn’t breaking news to TNA this rating has been getting worse and worse since January 4th when TNA pulled in their biggest rating of all-time. Everyone in TNA was jumping up and down like a room full of kindergarten’s being greeted by the ice cream man. You would have thought that they had already won the Monday Night War the way they were acting. That’s how ridiculous it was.
We talked about the Impact rating from last week’s show (March 8th) at length on my podcast “The Still Real to Us Show” co-hosted by fellow Camel Clutch Blog’s Eric Gargiulo. I’m not going to go back in time and discuss that rating again. At the time I was shocked that was how TNA rated back on the 8th, this time around I am not as shocked.
I read the spoilers because I had little interest in tuning into the show this week. I’m sure the TNA defenders will use that as another reason as to why the rating was so low. Are you sure it has nothing to do with the inconsistencies with the booking of TNA? Or how maybe, just maybe fans of the TNA product are fed up with the same old wrestlers being shoved down our throats ten years ago being shoved down our throats yet again?
TNA took everything they laid their foundation with for 8 years and threw it out the window the minute they brought Hulk Hogan on board to “shake up” their product. How does Hulk shake up the product? By bringing in Ric Flair, Rob Van Dam, The Nasty Boys, Bubba the Love Sponge, Sean Waltman, Scott Hall, Sean Morley and Mr. Anderson. Last I checked wrestling fans and more importantly TNA fans weren’t clamoring for one last run for The Nasty Boys, to see Bubba the Love Sponge on TV and to get another chance for Scott Hall to no show a TNA event.
This is slowly becoming more and more of a joke every week. I wouldn’t be surprised if we soon see bets on how low the TNA rating will be in Las Vegas next week. TNA will be live next week so I’m sure the rating will do better right? Maybe it will move from a 0.84 to a 0.94. I’m a believer! You can do it TNA! Let’s beat the ratings of Impact from the Fox Sports days!
Something is not working right now in TNA obviously. This situation Dixie Carter got her organization into by bringing Hogan & Bischoff into the fold was a make or break situation. They can either fight the situation and make their product entertaining or continue to go down with their sinking ship.
You can point the finger at Vince Russo, but as Eric Gargiulo brought to my attention on last week’s “Still Real to us Show”; the finger must be left to be blamed to Dixie Carter, Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan. Those three and more then likely Hogan & Bischoff, have the final say on what we see on Monday nights. Clearly what we’ve been seeing lately is some of the worst things TNA has produced in four years according to the ratings of course.
Spike TV executives are not going to let this continue happen for much longer as they have invested a lot of time and more importantly money into the TNA product. Spike TV & TNA want to beat the USA Network & the WWE in the ratings game. They didn’t air on Monday Nights because they are the “little engine that could.” They did it to make a point and climb the ladder of the Wrestling game. It is another form of “Survival of the Fittest” and right now they are most definitely the hunted.
To me they are even behind Ring of Honor’s Monday program that I watch on YouTube because I can’t get HDnet! No offense to ROH, their product is by far much more entertaining then the TNA product right now. Spike TV call up Cary Silkin and bring ROH to the worldwide fan base because the way it’s looking right now TNA won’t survive till 2011.
What is TNA’s excuse this week? I’m sure it will be that they were taped. But even so most wrestling fans read spoilers including spoilers for NXT & Smackdown. You know the two other WWE shows not named Raw that are doing better then your program. What will TNA’s competition be next? Hell maybe they can take on WWE’s AM Raw that airs at 2am on the USA network.
This is one of the worst wars I have ever seen so far in the Wrestling business and I know it’s still early for me to say this in Week 2 but this is horrible. If TNA makes a comeback they will look back at this period of time and remind all the haters (including the one writing this blog) how they came back from a 0.84 rating to out-do the WWE on Monday Nights. I don’t know when or how that can happen right now and I think TNA is feeling the same way right but won’t let on that they feel that way as we speak.
The heat will be on this coming Monday March 22nd in Orlando, Florida. The WWE is doing their “go home” show to Wrestlemania 26. TNA and their fans need to stop blaming the “Road to Wrestlemania” as well for their problems. This has been getting worse for weeks and weeks. Plus have you been watching the same show I have been? It’s horrible and un-entertaining.
The only war that seems to be happening on Monday Nights right now is TNA Impact taking on VH1’s replay of the Tool Academy. TNA needs to improve fast or the Spike TV executives will be calling Dixie Carter, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff into their offices rather quickly. Things are at least getting most definitely getting interesting during the Monday Night Wars II.
Jeff also co-hosts “The Still Real to us show” with Eric Gargiulo which can be available at www.wheelhouseradio.comand can be downloaded in the “Real Guy Radio” section of the site. There you can also download many different shows including “The Wheelhouse”, “24 on 24″ and “Lost: Smoke Monsters and You.”
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This past Monday night, TNA presented their next Monday night IMPACT episode going head to head with Monday Night RAW! The only difference this week as opposed to last was that last week’s TNA IMPACT was live where as this week’s was taped. What was in store for TNA after last week’s shocking appearances by Jeff Hardy, Sting, and Rob Van Dam? Also, with TNA Destination X this Sunday night on PPV, how did TNA present their go home show? Let’s find out!
To start out the program, the TNA World heavyweight Champion AJ Styles and Ric Flair made their way down to the ring and AJ preceded in cutting a promo about how he will destroy Abyss in their title match come this Sunday at Destination X. Flair then takes the mic and cuts an excellent promo on how he want revenge on Hogan. Flair then literally punched himself in the forehead several time reopening his laceration from last week. This looked sick! Not sure I’ve ever quite seen something like it in the given circumstance. At this point, AJ got back on the mic and called out Jeff Hardy who attacked him last week as IMPACT went off the air. Hardy came out sporting a new look consisting of a full face of face paint. AJ then challenged him to a match in the main event which Hardy gladly agreed to. Hardy made a reference to him beating AJ with the help of his “creatures of the night”, which are apparently Hardy fans from the arena who wear his face paint and neon shirts which glow with black light, and left to his theme music. Nice segment to open up the show and set up the main event, however I’m not sure why there’s so much emphasis between Hardy and Styles considering it will not be Hardy, rather Abyss who Styles will defend his title against this Sunday.
The Nasty Boys (Saggs, Knobs, and Jimmy Hart) Defeated Team 3D (Brother Ray, Brother Devon, and Brother Runt) In A 6 Man Tag
Before this match officially began, the Nasty Boys were shown backstage powerbombing Jesse Neal through a table. His replacement ended up being the returning Brother Runt! Coll to see him back with Team 3D again. This was your typical 3D vs. Nasty Boys match, which really isn’t much of a good thing if you catch my drift. 5 Minutes of below par stuff here, with the main angle being 3D trying, but failing, to get their hand on Hart. In the end, Sags hit Brother Ray in the back of the head with a helmet for the win. After the match their beat down continued until Jesse Neal (injured ribs and all) made the save and he and Team 3D ended up giving Sags a 3D through a table in the center of the ring. Nice table spot but worthless feud and waste of Jimmy Hart’s presence in TNA.
Kurt Angle and “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero Defeated Mr. Anderson and Desmond Wolfe
Nicw way to wrap a couple of feuds into one here, while it looks to be Angle/Anderson feuding as well as Dinero/Wolfe, although I’m not sure why these two are still feuding considering Pope has a world title shot next month at TNA Lockdown. Nice wrestling action here telling a very good story, however it still wasn’t given quite enough time to pick up any real momentum. TNA did a nice job of giving some more time to their matches last week, so I was disappointed to see this match end in only about 5 minutes or so here. Dinero heavily sold his ankle injury as well. In the end, Angle hit an Angle Slam on Anderson and then went for one on Wolfe but he countered that into a hammerlock DDT. Wolfe tried to hook a figure four in on Dinero but Dinero countered that into a small package for the three! After the match, Dinero and Wolfe battled to the back while Anderson gave Angle a Mic Check in the ring. Anderson then split Angle wide oen with his dog tag. As the blood dripped down Angle’s face, Anderson grabbed his mic and degraded Angle while he was helpless. Great way to set up their match this Sunday at Destination X as well as leave Angle wanting revenge going into their battle! I was very impressed here, and the use of blood really put TNA even further over WWE when it comes to appealing to a more mature demographic.
Angelina Love Defeated Daffney Via DQ
This was suppose to be an open challenge from Love to any single member of The Beautiful People, however Daffney was apparently The BP’s honorary member for just one night. Nice way to pull the wool over our eyes and further this feud, even though I’m not enjoying it all that much. Not much of a match here, for Daffney got disqualified in only about 2 minutes or so when the BP got involved. After the bell, Daffney swung Love but the legs, head first into the side of the ramp. Very scary spot which literally almost broke Love’s neck! After this, Tara ran out to stop the beat down, hit Velvet Sky with the Widow’s Peak, and locked eyes with her opponent this Sunday Daffney as she retreated onto the ramp way and to the back. Nice way to set up this match on Sunday for the Knockout Championship.
Up next, it was time for Hulk Hogan to call out Sting to meet face to face for the first time in nearly a decade. Sting eventually showed himself and preceded in climbing down each and every step from the rafters. Intense moment played very well. Before Sting could enter the ring, RVD jumped the rail and floored him! He beat him all around the perimeter of the ring, seeking revenge after Sting’s onslot last week. RVD eventually threw him into the ring for an awaiting Hulk Hogan with Sting’s bat, but Bischoff came out and stood in between the two claiming that this wasn’t the right thing to do and that Hogan should stop trying to get involved with the talent. He said Hogan was there to run the company, not compete. Nice segment here to start creating tension between Bischoff and Hogan. reminds me of the days where Stone Cold and Bischoff were each co-general managers of RAW. They didn’t get along yet they were both running the show. At least this most likely will not involve a one on one match between Bischoff and Hogan… at least I hope not!
Scott Hall Defeated Kevin Nash In A 5 Minute Challenge For $25,000 (Was This Even A Match???)
Earlier in the evening, Nash challenged Hall to this match, if you could call it a match. Apparently if Hall could last 5 minutes with Nash he would get the money. TNA made this very unclear as to how to win the match, if it was one. Pretty brutal stuff, and no I don’t mean because it was violent! I use to dread the day we’d see these two in the ring together. Thankfully, after about 2 minutes Waltman ran out and attacked Nash’s knees. They cuffed him to the turnbuckle, but Eric Young ran out to make the save, but ended up getting the X Factor on a steel chair. Decent way to set up the tag match this Sunday though, although I’m really not looking forward to it whatsoever.
Beer Money Defeated Hernandez With Jeff Jarrett As The Guest Ref
Once again, Beer Money played full fledged heels. Did this come out of left field or what? Nice little formulaic handicap matchup here with Beer Money dominating most of the match with Hernandez coming back with flurries of offense several times throughout the duration, which was about 5 minutes or so. During the match, Matt Morgan was on commentary and did not seem to be on the same page as Hernandez at all. He walked out on him in the end. Nice way to further the tension between these two, although I still think it’s a carbon copy of the Morgan/Abyss feud last year. After Beer Money got the win with the DUI, they continued the beat down, until Jeff Jarrett couldn’t take it any longer and cleaned house! Nice way to create anticipation when it comes to the reaction of the man who booked this match, Eric Bischoff. A match which accomplished several things here, which was a smart usage of time.
Earlier, Bischoff promised that he would shave Foley’s head to make him look more business like. Foley came out and sat in the barber chair. Bischoff turned on the clippers and was about to shave Foley’s head when Foley shockingly stood up and put Bischoff in the Mandible Claw with Mr. Socko! After Bischoff passed out, he began to shave Bischoff’s head. He ended up shaving most of his hair off leaving him looking like a complete wacko! Although this was probably not the segment you needed to do before a pay per view that weekend, I’ll admit this was pretty funny and a nice way to see Foley get his revenge after following Bischoff’s orders for so long. Guess this was our payoff.
Before we saw the main event, The Motor City Machine Guns stood in the ring under the Ultimate X structure and cut a promo claiming that they are the top tag team in TNA and will defeat the two men who just waltzed into TNA, Generation Me. Generation Me came out and told the Guns that they defeated them in their TNA debut. The MCMG said it was all luck. After the Guns made a questionable comment about Generation Me’s girlfriends being with them last night, the four men engaged into a full out brawl. At this, Brian Kendrick ran out and went after Generation Me. Amazing Red then ran out and went after Kendrick. Next Daniels ran out and took out Red. Last but not least, Kaz ran out with a ladder and threw it in Daniels’ face who was standing in the ring. The Guns now attacked Kaz. Generation Me then climbed the truss holding up the X wires and dove onto the Guns on the floor! Huge TNA chant! Kaz and Red soon cleared the ring. Red dove off the top of the ladder, front flipping onto Kendrick, Daniels, and Sabin on the floor! Awesome spot here! Great way to show off the X Division and to set up both the Ultimate X and Ladder match which will take place this Sunday at Destination X which is supposed to focus on the X Division! I just wish they would have started building up this PPV, at least from an X Division standpoint, a few weeks ago.
Jeff Hardy Defeated AJ Styles (C) With Ric Flair In A Non-Title Match With Abyss As The Guest Enforcer
First of all, I’m glad TNA at least involved Abyss, AJ’s poopnent this Sunday for the title, somewhere in this match. The match featured Styles dominating for the majority of the duration. Hardy looked a tad slow at times, but you must remember that he hasen’t been in the ring for a while. He’s got a bit of ring rust. Hardy made a comeback at about half way through this 10 minute match. Hey, at least TNA gave us a main event lasting more than 5 minutes for a change! Styles came back and hit a snap brainbuster suplex at 6:00 for a two count stopping Hardy’s momentum. AJ then countered a Twist of Fate with a Pele Kick. Looked very cool! Toward the end, the ref got in the way of a cross body off the top rope by Styles. Styles hit both Hardy and the ref. Styles preceded in grabbing a chair. Abyss walked up to his and waved his finger in a no gesture. Styles set the chair down and went for a springboard 450 splash but caught nothing but canvass. Hardy then hit a Twist of Fate and the Swanton for the three, as counted by Abyss! After the bell, as Abyss and Hardy celebrated, Flair attacked then with a steel chair. Flair forced Abyss to the ramp with repeated chair shots to his back, but it had no effect on the monster! Abyss “Hulked up” and turned around, punching the chair out of Flair’s arms. Abyss then grabbed Flair by the throat and choke slammed him through the stage to end the show! Another sweet spot! Great way to leave the impression that Abyss could legitimately win the title from Styles this Sunday night! Great stuff post match!
Overall, this wasn’t the best episode of IMPACT ever, certainly not as good as last week, however I felt it did a very nice job of setting things up for Destination X this Sunday night on PPV. All the matches were set up and things didn’t seem as rushed as usual. Not nearly enough actual in ring action here, but it is understandable because of the PPV coming up this weekend. The main event was satisfying though. Overall, I’d give this show a B+.
Todd Frizzell is from Columbus Ohio, and has been a huge professional wrestling fanatic for the last ten years. Todd is very interested in all aspects of pro wrestling, including what goes on when the cameras aren’t rolling. Todd is very excited to write about his passion, and will try his best to entertain and provoke the wrestling fans.
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-What I wouldn’t give to relive the WWE WrestleMania 19 era. I was 19 years old and making insane money delivering pizza for just 25 hours a week. Seriously, the tips I made were great, given I live in the midst of middle class suburbia. I had few bills, not a care in the world, free from the restraints of school, yada yada. The only thing missing was a quality WWE product. At this point, you had a better chance of getting chlamydia from Paula Deen than getting three straight good weeks of Monday Night Raw.
-Speaking of the promotion, it was March 30, 2003, and we go way out to the land of Wozniak, Seattle, WA, in the confines of Safeco Field. This is the first time that we have two commentary teams covering WrestleMania, with Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler handling Raw duties, and Michael Cole and Tazz overseeing the Smackdown side of things. Would you believe that in 2002 and 2003, the voters for the annual RSPW Awards declared Cole to be a better play by play man than JR? I swear this happened. Of course, JR was a bitter shell at this point, taking pot shots at heels he didn’t care about, and was generally miserable after the talent relations job he held was usurpsed by Johnny Ace. If you wanna see how bad JR could get, just wait until later in this show.
-Ashanti performs America the Beautiful, and we never heard from her again. Also, on the pre-show, Rob Van Dam and Kane failed to win the World Tag Team Titles from Chief Morley and some guy whose name escapes me. If he was important, I’m sure I’d remember it.
-Quick note: for this show, my brother Josh invited over some kid he worked with who may or may not have been homeless. It bears no relevance otherwise, but it’s my rant, so there you go.
-By the way, I can stop typing WWF now. This should get the pandas off my lawn.
-To kick things off, Matt Hardy Version 1.0 defends the WWE Cruiserweight Title against Rey Mysterio. Mysterio’s superhero motif du jour: Daredevil. How it reminds me of 2003. How it reminds of Ben Affleck. How it reminds me of Gigli. Damn it, Rey.
-Mysterio lands a nice twisting plancha to take out both Matt and Shannon Moore. Always good to see the Filthy Animals and 3 Count go at it. It’s like the Hatfields and McCoys for the twelve people that watched WCW at the end.
-Moore’s sycophantic interference was hilarious. Hell, Matt’s entire V1 shtick was amazing before he became a deranged self parody and gained 50 pounds after Lita cheated on him. Hey, Matt: you had six or seven years to put a ring on her finger. You didn’t do it. Besides, given that her sexual history could fill the book of Genesis, consider yourself a survivor.
-It’s funny: at this point, I really liked both performers. Though when one becomes a deluded emo crybaby, and the other endlessly promotes his dead friend for sympathy, that tends to come to a screeching halt.
-Rey hits the 619 and tries to drop the dime, but misses. A victory roll attempt by the challenger leads to a Matt drop down and rope pull for the cheap win. Way too short, but fun while it lasted. The two would have a much better match two months later on Smackdown where Rey finally got the belt. Anyone else miss Smackdown in the era when the great workers got time to work, and the whacky characters got equal time to balance the card? I know I do.
-And now for a handicap match, since those never get old. Undertaker puts his streak on the line against Big Show and A-Train, or as I call them: “Fat Albert”. This was supposed to be a tag team match with Taker teaming with Australian muscleman Nathan Jones, but Jones was unable to wrestle. Actually, that WAS the reason he was pulled: because he couldn’t wrestle. The man had the coordination skills of Stephen Hawking doing a downhill slalom.
-Limp Bizkit performs “Rollin” to bring Taker out. Taker even hugs Fred Durst. When would THAT ever happen if neither man was famous? Can you imagine Johnny Cash posing for a picture with the Icy Hot Stuntaz?
-Here’s food for thought: given all of the start-stop pushes that Show and Train have had over the years, especially in this time period, wouldn’t we be more apt to take them seriously if they dominated Taker? I mean, two big men beating up Undertaker doesn’t hurt anyone, and all three men get some measure of cred from it. So, of course, Taker dominates from the outset. So much for taking their pushes seriously.
-Taker with a fujiwara armbar for Show and another armbar for Train. This is like a production of Hamlet being performed by the special needs class. Show and Train are just stumbling around for Taker, who had lost his mystique by reverting to his biker gimmick. So it’s no fun for anyone.
-After ten minutes of boring tripe, Nathan Jones hits the ring and knocks Show out with a spinning heel kick in the aisle. Then he gets Train with a running foot inside the ring, which sets up the Dead Man’s Tombstone, pushing the streak to 11-0. Bad match, but thankfully the worst we’ll see tonight. You know, if WWE was so serious about getting Show or Train to main event status, why not have one of them pin Taker and wreck the streak? They’d be a heel for life, and always have something to hang their hat on. Alas.
-Stacy Keibler, Torrie Wilson, and the Miller Lite catfight girls have a pow-wow. If you can name both of those latter ladies without consulting Wikipedia, then you’re probably not welcome near school bus stops.
-Up next, the WWE Women’s Title is up for grabs, as Victoria defends the gold against Trish Stratus and Jazz. This match is an upgrade over last year in terms of placement, workmanship (Trish was much improved), and participants. I’ll take Victoria over Lita any day. Man I miss that TATU music and crazy titan tron. Hey Vince, Victoria’s now 39 years old and is still one of the hottest women in wrestling. I don’t care about Kelly Kelly, give me crazy Victoria please. Oh, wait, TNA has her. Well, that’s one area that the Orlandophiles win at.
-I miss Jazz too. She was like Stone Cold. Except black. And female. Ok, so she was the female Bad News Brown. She just wails away on everyone in sight, which is more fun than “faces don’t attack other faces”. I remember when Victoria turned face over a year after this and she saved Stacy from elimination during the Taboo Tuesday battle royal. Disgusting.
-Jazz putting Trish into an STF = hot. I need to stop watching prison movies.
-Trish cradles Victoria and pulls down the back of her tights, exposing her crack to the world. Let’s hear it for DVD freeze frame! Speaking of pervy, I think we can all agree that the only reason Jazz ever did that double chicken wing move to Trish was to make her chest stick out and the fans could pop. Classy.
-With Jazz out on the floor, Trish avoids interference from Steven Richards (Victoria’s henchman/boyfriend/pet) and knocks out Victoria with the Chick Kick to win the title. Good, compressed match that livened things up after the hossfest bored everyone. It takes a lot to cheer people from Seattle up, so good on the ladies. Though if Seattle was rooting for Victoria, we’d have to hear years and years of complaining about the officiating. Damn Seahawks fans.
-Rock is backstage with Coachman, and Mr. Dwayne Johnson is so disillusioned with the fans these days that he can’t even properly abuse Coach like he used to. Way to drain the life from my hero, guys. But he WILL beat Stone Cold tonight. We’re all rooting for ya, Rock! Especially Debra.
-And now WWE will let some of the tag teams get air time, as The World’s Greatest Tag Team defends the WWE Tag Team Titles against Los Guerreros and Murder Horn (Chris Benoit and Rhyno). If TNA sticks six men with talent all in the same match, they get lambasted for squandering good wrestlers. Just saying.
-Benoit blisters Eddie with chops. In 2003, they met in a meaningless undercard showcase. In 2004, they ended the show with a surreal celebration. In 2008, neither of them was there because they were both dead. Sigh.
-The main issue I have with this match is that….there IS no issue. Haas and Benjamin were largely goons for Kurt Angle who became tag champs due to crowd heat osmosis, and they have no real character qualities except for “We do Kurt Angle’s bidding”. The Guerreros are known for being chronic cheaters with a penchant for partying, but you don’t see that. Benoit and Rhyno are intense competitors and it makes sense for them to stick to the wrestling, but what was their beef with TWGTT, other than Benoit hating Haas and Benjamin through Angle? Sometimes, you need to expand the story a bit.
-That’s not to say that the wrestling sucks, because it’s solid, but look who’s involved.
-A fast tag frenzy near the end and Rhyno gores Chavo, but Eddie pulls Rhyno to the floor and Shelton steals the pin on Chavo to retain the gold. Match was good, but largely forgotten in the backdrop of the marquee matches that were ahead. It didn’t give Haas and Benjamin much traction, but at least it was fun to watch.
-The four aforementioned useless hot women argue over who made WrestleMania: Vince McMahon or Hulk Hogan. My answer: Howard Finkel. Did I mention that the Fink is here tonight? #19!
-Video package for the Shawn-Michaels-Chris Jericho feud. You know, the first one. This was Shawn’s in-ring WrestleMania return and, although I was a huge childhood fan, I was pulling for Jericho here. Shawn had a total of 4 or 5 matches since his return seven months before, and I felt that for Jericho to lose would be a BS political move. In other words, I was a smark, but I was also a mark.
-On the way to the ring, Shawn fires off some confetti guns for some reason. A number of them don’t work, and won’t shoot at all. Kevin Nash used to have that problem, but they began making pills for that.
-Extended stalemate sequence opens the match, and after thinking Shawn wouldn’t be able to keep up, I was surprised that he did. Remember, seven years ago, we thought Shawn was only capable of like one match every two months and, even then, it wasn’t always guaranteed to be a classic. This is where Jesus walks in and kicks me in the balls for being Agnostic. Thank you, Jeeze.
-Shawn slaps on a figure four and begins to work Jericho’s leg. I remember once watching Raw with my friend Dave (fan of Bret Hart, hater of Shawn) when Michaels was facing Trevor Murdoch. Shawn grabbed the legs to apply his modified figure four and Dave thought he was attempting the Sharpshooter. Dave began to swear at the TV and then stopped when he realized that he wasn’t mocking Bret. It’s these little things that make us fans.
-The fight spills outside, and Jericho snares Michaels in the Walls of Jericho in the aisleway. Jericho releases after a certain amount of punishment, and then runs back in to break the count. Jericho continues to assault the back, break the count, and repeat. Jericho’s such a tremendous jerk of a heel. He’s like Tully Blanchard, except he doesn’t hide behind religion to cover his past.
-After Jericho hits the Shawn forearm inside, he kips up and does the slant-leg pose to mock HBK, but then Michaels kips up behind him. It’s these little things that keep TNA from becoming a true break-out promotion: you need moments that make the fans smile without resorting to inside jokes or overkill. Shawn’s such an established character, that the fans get it when Jericho rips off part of his shtick, and then they love it when Shawn makes them cheer with the counter-act.
-Jericho continues the acidic ‘tribute’ by landing Shawn’s elbow smash, stomping the foot to tune up Fozzy, and then hits Sweet, eh? Chin Music for 2. Good psychological stuff.
-Shawn mounts the comeback and tries for his SCM, but Jericho ducks the leg and gets the Walls. After Shawn fights it for an eternity, he finally makes the ropes. After Jericho nearly comes to tears in protest, he walks right into Shawn’s Chin Music, but the slow cover can only get 2. Great match.
-Finally, after Jericho jars the spine with a forearm, he tries a back suplex, which Shawn turns into a backroll press for the win. Afterward, Jericho tries to man up and embrace Shawn with a hug, but changes his mind and kicks Shawn low. It’s ok, Chris, you still have your rocker hair until you get with the times and cut it in 2006. Tremendous match with a real big time feel.
-Sylvain Grenier, then an evil referee, goes into Vince’s locker room. He must be mistaken. Pat Patterson’s green room is a few doors—oh, don’t give me that look. I haven’t made a Patterson joke in at LEAST three or four rants!
-Miller Lite Catfight crap. Coach loses his pants. Limp Bizkit performs “Crack Addict”. I’m intoxicated by Turkey Hill iced tea. So all is good.
-Triple H and Booker T for the World Heavyweight Title is next. The storyline here is that Triple H made a few racially charged remarks to the Bookerman, which you’d think would lead to Book shutting him up and winning the title. You’d think that, wouldn’t you, Senor Ignorencia?
-You know, this match kind of annoys me, since it was Hunter slowing things down to a crawl, just to do some make-believe Ric Flair heel champion routine, and it stunted Booker’s momentum as a performer. Let’s just say Hunter works the knee, Booker fails to make enough of a comeback, and Hunter sends him spiraling back to the midcard with the Pedigree. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on to two more interesting points.
-First, Jerry Lawler spent the match hamming up Triple H’s rhetoric about Booker being a lifelong criminal. It’s one thing to make a joke or two, as the heel announcer, but it’s another to keep on keeping on, which is what Lawler did. Jim Ross gets so sick and tired of Lawler’s spiel that he openly responds with hostile verbiage, and Lawler actually seems taken aback. It’s way more interesting than the match. What I also love is at Bad Blood a few months later when Lawler tries to bury Booker again with the prison jokes, and JR makes a comment along the lines of “You know, I wonder how different things would be if some OTHER people had been convicted of certain crimes”. And Lawler NEVER made fun of Booker’s criminal record again. Great stuff.
-The other thing: I will defend Hunter winning here. As much as I loved Booker, imagine this: if Hunter never drops the belt to Goldberg in September, then he holds the belt for over a year, right? Sure, it infuriates us, but, as the smarks are huge Benoit fans, what would it mean to us if Chris Benoit took out Triple H to win the title after Hunter spent 15 months as champion? It’d mean a LOT. I can defend Hunter as a heel dominating, because it means just that much more when he loses. Ask Batista.
-Moving on to something else that’s criminal. Criminally fun, that is. Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon will do battle in a street fight that was twenty years in the making. That’s AMAZING. I never knew Vince was clamoring for this fight when Hulk was champion and Vince was skinny, Reagan-esque commentator. And I thought I knew everything.
-Typical geriatric Vince brawling, complete with funny faces and comical selling. I never get enough of watching Vince wrestle. He could have a match with a dead ferret and I’d be entertained.
-Vince realizes his dream of dominating a test of strength. Hulk realizes his dream of bashing Vince with a chair and busting him open. So everyone’s happy.
-Just to show that he’s more hardcore than the useless wusses that he employs, Vince dives off the ladder with a legdrop through Hogan and the Smackdown commentary table. Then to top THAT, after rolling Hogan in, Vince pulls a lead pipe from under the ring and slowly raises his face over the apron with a crazed expression that I still laugh at to this day. Dixie, you’re no Vince. There I said it.
-After both men are down, Rowdy Roddy Piper hits the ring and is apparently doing the Adrian Adonis tribute diet. He spits on both men, but then hits Hogan with a pipe before dropping a couple F-bombs on camera. Just when you think you have all the answers, Roddy forgets the questions and then relapses.
-Long story short: Sylvain Grenier tries to do some shady run-in refereeing, gets taken out, and Hulk drops three legs on Vince for the win. It’s longer than I made it seem, but it’s fun the entire way. Seriously, just watch it. You won’t regret it.
-And now, for something bittersweet. The Rock takes on Stone Cold Steve Austin in….well, if you don’t know, I’ll get to it at the end of the match.
-Rock was full blown Hollywood villain, and Austin is still Stone Cold, albeit with a neck worn down to nothing, and a lack of the same crowd energy that made him Stone Cold in the first place. I’m going to get very sad watching this.
-Tribute is paid to their X7 match as Austin attacks with a flurry and the fight spills outside. Austin is just hammering Rock all over ringside. This is like Rick Fox getting those garbage points in game five of the 2004 NBA finals, in case it was the end for him.
-Rock shifts the tide by working the knee, and the crowd seems reluctant to boo him. Hey, he was such a fun character with this pro-Hollywood slant. My biggest regret is not seeing it last longer. But hey, the movies were calling his name.
-Just for a goof, Rock puts on Austin’s leather vest and continues the fight, and the slugfest continues. Then Austin runs through the classics. There’s the Thesz press. There’s the middle finger elbow. There’s the mudhole stomping. HE’S WALKING IT DRY! That’s it Steve, round the bases one last time. Crap, I think I’m actually getting misty.
-Then we get another staple of their classics: the dueling finishers. Rock gets a stunner. Austin gets Rock Bottom. Neither one finishes the other. Good stuff.
-Then comes the heart-wrenching finish: Rock lands a spinebuster and People’s Elbow for 2. Then Rock lands one Rock Bottom. Austin kicks out on 2. Rock attempts a second one, but Austin desperately tries to elbow his way free. Rock hangs on and spikes him for a second one. Austin writhes on the mat in a fashion that is truly harrowing, but he kicks out on 2. For the third attempt, Austin doesn’t even fight it, and he eats a final Rock Bottom to give The Rock his much-deserved clean win over Stone Cold.
-Afterward, Rock breaks character and sits next to Austin, telling him he loves him as Austin lays hurt on the mat. Only four moments in wrestling get me choked up: Savage and Liz reuniting, Shawn winning his first World Title, Benoit making HHH tap, and this: The Rock throwing his character aside to make sure his real life friend was ok and to express his support. After Rock celebrates with his family at ringside, he leaves so that Austin can do the final walkaway, as his in ring career ended after one hell of a fourteen year journey. There will never be another Stone Cold Steve Austin. Much like Shawn and Taker should have ended XXV, THIS should have ended XIX. Austin and Rock, the two men who carried the Attitude era, in their final chapter. I love it.
-Still one match to go, and it’s going to take a lot to top this. Don’t worry, what’s on tap has a chance.
-If you thought Austin’s neck was bad, Kurt Angle’s was just as horrid, as he prepared to defend the WWE Championship against Brock Lesnar. Angle was in dire need of surgery on his spine, but chose to go through with this match. This wouldn’t be the last time we worried about Angle’s health or sanity.
-The two men begin with a feeling out process, as both men are among the most accomplished amateur wrestlers-turned-pro in the world. At first, I thought that it would just remain at this pace due to Angle’s bad neck, but hey, I was wrong again. Did I mention I was fairly dumb at 19? I’d just met Eric Gargiulo months before this show and I think I was I was still in a mental haze. It’s like a fifteen year old girl meeting Miley Cyrus. Eric’s just that special.
-Angle lands a German suplex and Lesnar soon nails him with a clothesline. If this was Kurt’s last match for a while, he was damn sure going to kill himself doing it.
-Angle then sends Lesnar hard into the buckles with a German suplex. Here Brock, share some of my pain, you musclehead.
-Angle wears Lesnar down further, taking the time to get his bearings, which is the smart thing to do. Then he hits an overhead belly to belly on a 300 pound man, then does four rolling Germans on Lesnar just for fun. When Kurt Angle lives to be 400 years old and is a cyborg, no one better be surprised, you hear me? NO ONE.
-Here’s a good sequence for you: Angle tries for the Angle Slam, Lesnar counters with an F5 attempt, which Angle rolls into the ankle lock. After Lesnar gets free, Angle gets the release throwing German suplex for 2. Jaw. Dropped.
-Through the remainder of the match, Lesnar manages to drop Angle with a pair of F5s and Angle really should be dead by now. I mean, come on, he was facing surgery that was due to keep him out for a YEAR and he’s going full gore with the future UFC Champion. Angle is crazy, ya’ll.
-Speaking of crazy, here comes some Mania lore: Lesnar tries for a shooting star press, but lands on his head and nearly breaks his neck in the process. After improvising a pin for 2, Angle tries for an Angle Slam, but Brock finishes with the F5 for his second WWE Title. They do the respect hug afterward. Tremendous match that made me cringe every time Angle did something the least bit physical. With Austin retiring due to his spinal damage, I certainly didn’t want to see Kurt end up a crippled vegetable. I loved the match, but it’s like a car wreck: hard to watch, but hard to turn away.
-Limp Bizkit plays us out. Speaking of played out, Limp Bizkit, folks!
-CYNIC SAYS: At the time, I wasn’t sure what to think. WWE was in a major rut creatively, and couldn’t please anyone. Yet time has been kind to this show, as everything seemed to set up a future development. Hunter stayed strong to make his losses mean more. Shawn stayed strong to begin his full time comeback. Lesnar went over to become the future (sort of). And Austin went out with a great final performance.
WrestleMania XIX is a blossoming flower in a turd garden that is 2003 WWE. But you won’t regret having sat through all four hours of this tremendous show.
When he isn’t watching WWE, TNA, or his beloved Philadelphia Eagles and Phillies, Justin Henry can be found writing. It is his passion as well as his goal in life to become a well-regarded (as well as well-paid) columnist or author. Subscribe to The Cynical Examination, his wrestling blog, at http://www.facebook.com.
-So this was a bit like the end of an era for years truly. I was graduating high school in just three months, making this the first WWE WrestleMania of my adult life. The last time WrestleMania resided in Toronto, I was in kindergarten. Now, I was a high school senior, and the big event’s back at the Skydome in Toronto, Ontario, this time on March 17, 2002. Weird how things end up in life.
-Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, whose knees are still worn out from the groveling he had to do to reclaim his old job. The event looks like a hybrid of WrestleManias VI and X7, which is my way of saying it’s like X7, but with a darker lighting scheme. The atmosphere’s nice, I’ll give em that.
-The story is that WWE, at the end of the Attitude era, bottomed out with a botched WCW Invasion angle, and is now relying on a new crazy scheme: bringing back the New World Order. This is annoying to 18 year old Justin, because he doesn’t really want to live in the past, and it’s annoying to 26 year old Justin, because every time he types ‘NWO‘ in Microsoft Word, it changes it to ‘now’, and I usually forget to change it back. It’s annoying because there’s nothing ‘now’ about the New World Order.
-Here to sing “Oh Cana—“, er, nevermind, here’s Saliva to sing “Superstar”. Well, I do enjoy me some Saliva, and this was their “free” era. That’s when a band’s first one or two albums phenomenally rock your world, and then they “branch out” and listen to the corporate agents, who streamline their sound to try and make it more mainstream. Blood Stained Love Story says hi. Song goes on a bit long, but I do enjoy Josey Scott yelling “GET YOUR ASS UP OVER YOUR SHOULDERS!”. If I could contort my body like that, I’d be more popular at parties for sure.
-Nice opening video with the main event guys talking about what WrestleMania means to them. Scott Hall has comments too.
-The show kicks off, much like last year, with the Intercontinental Title match with, much like last year, William Regal defending against, much like last year, a long haired IWC idol who is apparently never pushed enough. In this case, it’s Rob Van Dam.
-Funny moment, as Regal goes for his now-trademark brass knux from the onset, and RVD kicks them out of his hand. They flew pretty far, and I wonder how long we as fans would have talked about the “fan getting hit with flying knux” story on the net had it happened.
-I remember bracing myself for the swerve in this match, since I was HYOOOOGE RVD mark and wanted so badly to see him win the IC Title, to become a “legit” contender. Now they just put the IC Title on whoever Vince has a crush on this week and the whole thing is moot. Here, Drew, looks good on ya!
-Just tremendous see-saw stuff, albeit rushed. That’s carny for “we only have, like, seven minutes, so let’s get about 40 moves in and hope that it looks good”. Don’t worry guys, it does.
-RVD tries for the catch-the-foot-throw-a-roundhouse spot, but Regal hits a SICKENING half nelson suplex that spikes RVD on his head, and Van Dam rolls to the floor awkwardly. I think we all thought RVD was dead here. That’s because we all forgot that RVD was a combination of Gumby and Drugs Delaney. He’ll be fine, just roll the man a little something something.
-Regal tries to finish with a second pair of knux, but RVD lands a roundhouse, and then lands the Five Star for his first IC Title. Hope you liked this match, because you won’t see the IC belt defended until WM25. You also won’t be seeing Regal on this tour until….well, ever. Man hasn’t had a Mania match since. What’s up with that? Seriously, great match to kick things off, though.
-Christian mocks DDP’s grin. Hey Christian, if you really wanna hit him low, you should point out how you learned to read thirty years before he did.
-After bashing Toronto to ensure that he doesn’t get cheered, Christian arrives to face Diamond Dallas Page for the WWE European Championship. The gimmicks in play here include Christian portraying a compulsive whiner prone to tantrums, and Page was a smiling motivational speaker whose smile scared children. So if you were a fan of Celebrity Deathmatch, imagine Kanye West taking on an anti-matter Matt Foley.
-Wow, JR plays the “DDP was at WrestleMania VI in this building as a limo driver” card. So when Edge watched Rhythm and Blues come out to sing, I’m sure he thought “One day, my kayfabe brother is going to fight that chauffer while I tangle with a man who sounds like Tone Loc with dreadlocks over a bottle of shampoo! Gonna be SWEET!”
-The whole point of the match is that it’s a six minute backdrop to provide Christian a chance to have a tantrum and thus validate his character. I dunno, that’s more of a Backlash-No Mercy concept, I think. I like my WrestleManias to have a little more substance. It was hard to take Christian seriously at this point anyway, since he resembled a male version of Shannon Moore.
-Christian nearly has a meltdown of Ozzie Guillen proportions after Page kicks out of the falling reverse DDT. He stops himself, but can’t stop himself from eating the Diamond Cutter for the pinfall loss. Christian finally does spaz when Page points out that he lost in front of 68,000 fans, and JR screams for someone to get Christian a diaper. No problem, unless Hulk’s being stingy with his.
-The Rock is backstage, and he abuses Jonathan Coachman into saying his prayers. Isn’t it funny how Coach is universally reviled by the majority of marks and smarks alike, yet he and Rocky among the select few on this show (excepting Trish Stratus as well) that can leave wrestling and never have to look back? Coachman’s with ESPN and likely earning in the six figures to tell us why Danica Patrick and Lebron James will always be important, and we should be proud of The Coach. He made it. So many others haven’t.
-In an odd choice for a match, Maven (of Tough Enough fame) defends the WWE Hardcore Title against Goldust. In essence, Goldust pummels Maven with weapons that have been spray painted gold (trash can, shovel, etc) until Spike Dudley runs in and steals the pin to become champion. Then Crash Holly gives chase, then Maven, then Goldust, yada yada yada.
-To waste some more time, here’s Drowning Pool to perform “Tear Away”, while, as Lillian says they “tell the story of tonight’s main event”. Like the guys who sang “Bodies” could give a damn that Chris Jericho’s limo hit a dog. For those who believe that WWE only began to insult the crowd’s intelligence recently, boy have I got news for you.
-Backstage, the Hardcore shenanigans continue, which sees Al Snow drive a go-cart into a stack of boxes that were there for some reason, and The Hurricane fly in on a rope and thrust kick Spike to win the title. Then Hurricane runs off. Because he hears sirens.
-Next we have Kurt Angle vs. Kane, which is a feud I barely remember. Angle does, however, insult the fans for the Canadian pairs skating team controversy. Angle can take any sign of the times and just roll with it for the easy cheap heat. Here’s the question: given how divided America was during the Vietnam War, if Angle had wrestled in the sixties, which side do you think he would have been more likely to antagonize? Makes you think, doesn’t it?
-Angle attacks with the ring bell! I can see Angle playing Savage, but Kane as Steamboat? A little odd, to say the least. Unless Kane was a “fire breathing dragon”.
-For a monster, Kane’s sure giving Angle a ton of offense. See, I like these matches, because the dark-side loving marks who cheer for Kane will appreciate Angle as a gut-stomping villain who can take the fight to anyone, and the smarks who revere Angle can appreciate Kane for keeping up in a good match with such a talented pro. Everyone wins.
-It’s a shame that Kane’s been reduced to being nothing more than a chubby trial horse for the kiddies on Smackdown to work their craft on. He’s keeping pace with Angle, with a minimum of hoss silliness.
-Kane tries for a chokeslam, but Angle fidgets with Kane’s mask to throw him off his game. So when Jericho did it to Rey, he’d gotten the idea from Angle. Thieves….are….HYP-o-crites…..
-After Kane kicks out of the Angle Slam, Angle tries the Ankle Lock about 400 times to no avail. Jeez, get a clue, Kurt, he’s not up for tapping tonight. Angle ultimately counters a chokeslam into an awkward cradle and pulls the ropes for a poor excuse for a pinning combo, yet he gets the win off of it. Really good match and one of Kane’s best ever, but the ending did no favors. Fun while it lasted, though.
-Instead of trying to leave the building with the Hardcore Title, Hurricane tries to hide amongst the Godfather’s ho’s. You can LEAVE, Gregory, it’s not like Bill Watts is running the show!
-Highlight package for the Undertaker vs. Ric Flair street fight, with two noticeable occurrences: one is La Resistance’s theme playing for part of the video, and the other is a fan that Ric Flair accidentally assaulted played by…..Paul London! That’s not realistic at all. He wouldn’t have been allowed into the building with after a proper cavity search.
-Flair, who has a knack for storytelling, immediately attempts to pound Taker into oblivion for attacking his son, his friend Arn Anderson, and for making him hit Paul London. London was trained by Shawn Michaels, and lord knows Flair would NEVER do anything to upset Shawn.
-It doesn’t last long, as Taker seats Flair at ringside and unleashes a nasty gusher from Ric’s forehead, just pounding the cut until it looks like Flair’s going to be emptied at any moment. Nobody can empty Flair quicker than the Internal Revenue Service, but Taker’s a close second.
-Taker punching. Taker punching. Taker punching.
-After a seesaw slugfest, Flair manages to retrieve a lead pipe from Undertaker’s motorcycle (yes, he was still a biker at this point), and bashes the Dead Man to bust him open. Well, it’s a minor wound, but Lawler still believes that Taker’s papercut is a worse gash than Ric Flair’s forehead, which looks suspiciously like a bowl of tomato soup. Lawler also believes that he could attract the same women he gets now without millions in the bank, so let’s not go and shatter his delusions.
-Ross on Lawler’s prior assessment: “Are you drunk?”. I hope he is. Gives Jake Roberts someone to play cards with.
-Arn Anderson slides in to hit Undertaker with a Spinebuster, which I marked like a mofo for, but it can’t keep Taker down. Because Undertaker is not Firebreaker Chip.
-After Taker disposes of Arn, he takes on a figure four from Flair, but he goozles his way free. Flair won’t take the Last Ride, so Taker’s all “screw it” and lands the Tombstone for the win. A damn good match that’s lost amongst the Rock/Hogan hoopla, and I loved the intensity throughout.
-Afterward, Taker raises ten fingers, one by one, on the apron to mark his milestone. Has anyone else even WON ten matches at WrestleMania, let alone in a row? I think Shawn’s won maybe 6 or 7. Good stuff.
-Booker T cuts a promo to prove his stupidity. I always liked that in WWE that we’ve never been allowed to have a black character that’s displayed a ton of intelligence and intuition, outside of maybe Faarooq in the NOD days. And yet, Vince is there to paste the Martin Luther King montage on Raw every January. Perplexing.
-Edge realizes his dream of wrestling in Skydome at a WrestleMania! YAY EDGE!
-Said dream entails of: a disinterested crowd, Edge nearly breaking his neck on a top rope hurrachanrana, a badly blown Spinarooni attempt, and a win over Booker T in a match that was contested over a bottle of shampoo. But he’ll always have a the dream.
-Here’s an idea: why not have Booker feud with Page over who brought the WCW Invasion down, then do a six man tag: Edge and the Hardyz vs. Christian and the Dudleyz, TLC for the European (if Christian has it) and Tag Team Titles? You can stick Billy and Chuck and the APA on the pre-show or something. Flows better, doesn’t it? I think so.
-Meanwhile, Mighty Molly bashes The Hurricane with a frying pan to become Hardcore Champion. What a team: devoted missionary and violent drunk. It’s like the plot of Hancock, except….somehow better?
-And now for an interesting one: Stone Cold Steve Austin takes on Scott Hall of the New World Order. Austin was none too happy about being shunted down the card to feud with a chronic drunk (oh, the irony), and actually walked out the following day, not returning for a couple weeks.
-Brutal slugfest to begin things, and Kevin Nash earns his money for the year by removing the turnbuckle pad. That was very risky of him to do, since that’s his GOOD triceps that he used.
-Austin is bumped to the outside, and has to bear the brunt of a Nash onslaught. Hit his leg, Steve, that tends to work.
-Back inside, Austin hits Hall with a spinebuster, Then he follows up with a Stunner, but Nash pulls the ref out and clobbers him. Outsiders double team and Hall gets a chair, but Austin manages to Stun both men by himself. Way to keep those nWo t-shirt sales strong, guys.
-Another ref comes in and Nash drops an elbow on him. What’s up with Nash….and doing moves and stuff? Crazy.
-Nash is lulled from ringside by the promise of free Revlon, so Austin finishes Hall off with two Stunners for the win. This did nothing for Hall, who has to be a ruthless invader, and nothing for Austin, who was proving to no longer be the main event star. Decent match, but came at a heavy price.
-This leads to the fatal fourway for the WWE World Tag Team Titles, as Billy & Chuck (pre-Rico) defend the gold against the APA, Dudley Boyz, and Hardy Boyz. As a bonus, Saliva plays the Dudz new music live, and Josey Scott gets to grind with Stacy Keibler. Lucky punk.
-Just your standard multiple team fare, without the fun of broken tables and JR freaking out. In fact, APA eats an early elimination after a 3D. Remember when Bradshaw was just midcard fodder? Shhh, no one’s supposed to know that.
-Jeff Hardy was looking AWFUL here. Imagine if Sheamus was a fifteen year old raver, and you get Jeff in 2002. Even JR has to note how sickly pale he looks. Maybe he’s a Make-a-Wish kid, because he just got to slap Stacy’s butt as she tried distracting him with a wedgie, following up by kissing her. Well, that was MY wish too.
-After D-Von crashes through a table at ringside, Bubba Ray falls victim to the Hardyz finish. The crowd’s scared that Billy & Chuck may survive with the belts. Who says Canada’s not judgmental?
-Sure enough, a Fame-Asser/belt shot combo is enough to keep Jeff down for Billy & Chuck to retain. Bland match, and the crowd wasn’t into it, other than rooting against the champs. Let’s just move on.
-So backstage, Hulk Hogan calls off the Outsiders in regards to his match, and Christian nails Molly with a door to win the Hardcore Title. Just getting these out of the way, because I’m giddy about what’s next.
-And here it is: the match that changed everything.
-WWE’s pro-youth stance was shattered on this night. All of the pandering that Vince McMahon has done from 2002 onward in regards to nostalgia acts and milking out-of-date gimmicks for all they’re worth can be traced back to this match. Hollywood Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock, in a match between a 48 year old has been who had been absent from WWE for nearly nine years, and a 29 year old man who was becoming world famous, and was a great ambassador for the industry.
-So Toronto booed the kid and cheered the old guy. But hey, didn’t we all?
-JR has the balls to call this a “mixed reaction”. JR also called the Grenada conflict “evenly matched”.
-Hogan shoves Rock down a couple of times and poses, and the crowd reaction is INSANE. My brother and I joined in as Hogan went all eighties-y on us and we marked out like we were kids. And I was 18, thus having no excuse.
-Rock comes back and takes Hogan down, and the crowd boos. No wonder Vince Carter quit on this city.
-AXE BOMBER!!!! He beat Stan Hansen with it! But Rock’s no Stan Hansen. Like Rock would ever drop a midcard title to Lex Luger.
-Hogan’s doing the most elementary of moves (abdominal stretch, backrakes, 10 punches in the corner, forehead bite) and the fans are losing their mind. I think if 70,000 fans cheered Miss Jackie vs. Trish Stratus, I could get into that, too. Not that this match here sucks or anything.
-Rock chops away, and then cups his hand to his ear to mock Hulk. Fans boo lustily. I’m enjoying myself far too much.
-Hogan chokes the #1 babyface in the world with his wristtape, and the fans begin chanting his name. Not Rock’s name, but Hulk’s name. Do you think this annoyed Rock any, or do you think he was busy trying to remember his lines for the Rundown?
-The fight spills to the floor and Hogan clears off one of the tables, but it doesn’t get used. Rock tries to use a chair, but has it taken away. I nominate this for “best alleged hardcore match in wrestling history”, next to any Steve Blackman Hardcore Title defense.
-Ref bump, and Rock takes Hogan down with a spinebuster and sharpshooter. Hogan taps, which doesn’t count. You may be noticing a trend in this era.
-HULK BOTTOM! IT GETS 2! And it’s Yappapi strap time, as both men exchange shots with the weapon. Rock gets the upper hand and hits Rock Bottom….BUT HULK KICKS OUT! HE’S HULKING UP! THIS PLACE IS INSANE! 3 PUNCHES! BIG BOOT! LEGDROP! BUT ROCK KICKS OUT! PANDEMONIUM!
-Hogan misses a second leg drop, and then Rock lands two Rock Bottoms and a People’s Elbow to win one HELL of a fun match. Afterward, Hulk shakes Rock’s hand, and the Outsiders attack Hulk for being a turncoat. After Rock and Hulk run them off, Rock has Hogan pose for the fans like old times, andwhat a moment that it was. The two men walk off together, with Hogan endorsing Rock as the modern day star. I can’t speak enough about how great this was, and I still got giddy eight years later watching it. If you haven’t seen it, do it.
-What do you mean the show’s not over?
-Crowd for X8: 68,237. Thank you, Howard Finkel (#18!)
-Now for the Women’s title match, which is just dead in the water. Jazz defends the gold against Trish Stratus and Lita. The only thing that’s notable in the early going is that Trish has a maple leaf on the back of her tights. Alright, I’m kinda interested now.
-Crowd is dead, except when Lita wrenches her knee in the turnbuckle. If they were banking on hometown girl Trish to keep the fans alive till the main event, well Jasper, they thought wrong.
-Trish goes off the apron and Jazz spikes Lita with the Jazz Stinger for the win. No offense to any of these three women, since I have no issue with any of them but…..NEXT.
-Christian tries to make his escape with the Hardcore Title, but is pinned by Maven outside, who then absconds with Christian’s ride to the hotel. Well, that was just utterly pointless, wasn’t it?
-And now, the death march commences.
-Chris Jericho defends the Undisputed Championship against Triple H. The storyline here was…..Triple H won the Royal Rumble and uhh….Chris Jericho was champion so uhh…..they have a match. Oh, and Hunter was divorcing Stephanie, and they fought for custody of the dog. So Stephanie sided with Jericho and Jericho’s limo accidentally backed over the dog. Jericho, the most important champion at the time, was also walking the dog because Stephanie told him to.
-I’m going to need a moment to re-cope with the reality of that statement.
-Drowning Pool is here to play their rendition of “The Game”. Dear Drowning Pool, you’re not Lemmy. Sincerely, everyone with taste. Dave Williams, the singer of Drowning Pool, died months later of heart failure on the band’s tour bus. Hey Marc Mero, there’s somebody you forgot to put on your “wrestling deaths” list. It’s ok, you can have this one for free.
-Oh, right, the other story is that HHH is still hurting from his prior quadriceps injury, and Jericho’s looking to exploit that. Wow, look, the first part of the main event that HASN’T annoyed me. The crowd is too dead to be annoyed. Hogan wore em out. Maybe TNA should just move to Toronto?
-Hunter slams Jericho from the top rope to ringside. Well, alright, that was cool.
-Hunter and Jericho take turns working each other’s legs, which is not really the way to go if you’re trying to resuscitate the crowd. Stephanie screeching isn’t really helping matters either.
-Jericho saves Stephanie after Hunter brought her in the ring. What he wouldn’t have gave to break character for just one second. Disappointment as a champion, eh? Poor Jericho.
-Jericho and Hunter try and re-enact the Walls of Jericho on the table spot that helped injure Hunter in the first place, but Hunter ends up going through a table instead. Well, at least the psychology is sound.
-Jericho ultimately locks in the Walls inside the ring, but Hunter avoids passing out. Triple H is a better man than us all.
-After Hunter DDT’s Jericho onto a chair, Stephanie interjects herself one time too many, and Hunter makes her eat a Pedigree in the middle of the ring. Crowd kinda cheers that one. For someone who had needed comeuppance for a long time, they can’t go crazy for that? Man, Hulk must be like roofies or something.
-Jericho tries his own Pedigree, but Hunter sends him to the buckles. Jericho’s rebound dive falls onto a kick, and Hunter spikes him with the Pedigree to win the Undisputed title. Technically, the match was pretty good, but the lack of emotion from the fans, and Hunter’s slow pace selling the injury made this hard to want to invest into. If the rumors about Jericho being buried by the office over his title reign are true, then he probably wishes he didn’t put in the effort. Not that it seemed worth it anyway. Weird end to a generally weird show.
-CYNIC SAYS: Well, forget about topping last year’s effort right off the bat. I wouldn’t say anything on this show was terrible, so let’s look for some middle ground here. Rock-Hogan is a must-see, and Taker-Flair, Angle-Kane, RVD-Regal, and Jericho-HHH I’d rank as good. Everything else is going to go based on your personal tastes. For me, too many short matches featuring good competitors.
So it’s not a bad show, by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, it was fun in a lot of parts. Sort of like an All-Star game that doesn’t quite live up to the hype: it doesn’t suck, but it was fun to see all the stars.
So let’s go with that.
When he isn’t watching WWE, TNA, or his beloved Philadelphia Eagles and Phillies, Justin Henry can be found writing. It is his passion as well as his goal in life to become a well-regarded (as well as well-paid) columnist or author. Subscribe to The Cynical Examination, his wrestling blog, at http://www.facebook.com.
Thank goodness TNA Wrestling love surprises. The all-important ratings are in for the start of the new weekly Monday Night Wrestling Wars. The pressure was undoubtedly on TNA Wrestling who drew first blood by moving their TNA Impact television show from Thursdays to Mondays to run head-up against WWE RAW. Well after promises of surprises and a “hot first five minutes”, the Impact rating is in and let’s just say the only surprise is a dismal debut for TNA and a lot of bleeding from two legends who are wrestling way past their prime.
TNA Wrestling finished with an overall 0.98 rating for the night. This was way down from the 1.5 rating that TNA Wrestling scored on January 04. TNA Impact did peak with a 1.7 at the fourth and fifth quarter hour segments however the number greatly dropped hitting as low as a 0.76 through the next forty-five minutes. The company came nowhere close to the 1.88 peak it generated on the January 04 show that went head to head with WWE RAW in the first Monday Night War of the year.
I have read and heard the spin from TNA Wrestling fans and quite frankly none of the excuses hold any water. The numbers don’t lie! The easy excuse is, “Well it well take time and the show won’t be a success overnight.” While that may normally true, the fact that TNA has already appeared on Monday nights and garnered much bigger ratings makes this excuse null in my opinion. People were predicting a number like this the first time that TNA moved to a Monday in January. The fact that TNA beat that instantly kills the argument because the 1.5 is a standard they set for themselves back in January.
This brings me to the comments I made following the news of the January 04 rating. I applauded them for the rating and actually declared them victors that night. However, I pointed out that while the rating was impressive it was where they went next that would dictate the success of the night. If two million tune in to see your television show, and half of them don’t ever tune in again, and TNA’s pay-per-view buys don’t see any increases, than how successful of a company are you?
While it may be a little early to call the Hulk Hogan/Eric Bischoff era a disaster, I don’t think we are that far off. After initial interest in seeing the new direction of the company, the ratings have continually dropped for TNA Impact. On Thursdays with no competition, the rating has drastically dropped over the last two weeks to below WWE NXT numbers. It will take a few months for the pay-per-view numbers to be officially released, but I can’t imagine a dramatic turn around when people are tuning out of their free television show. After 90 days all the company has done since turning the keys to the car over to Hogan and Bischoff is a) lose a ton of money on high-priced contracts for guys like Hogan, Ric Flair, RVD, and Jeff Hardy, b) lose its television audience, c) lose core fans that were watching before the transition, c) retract the progress of several stars, and d) decrease the effectiveness that Impact has had in promoting the paid shows. So objectively at this point I can’t see any reason not to call the transition a disaster.
There were some really entertaining moments on Monday nights. At the same time, there were several moments that just made you wonder if anyone in the company of such “brilliant writers” has a clue? For example, let’s start with the surprises. This is something I have been critical of for the last two years from TNA. TNA Wrestling continually to hype surprises on their biggest shows. That is fine when you already have a steady audience, but TNA are in no position to hype surprises. How do you just throw a Sting vs. Rob Van Dam match with no warning and expect anyone to watch? Yes the ratings peaked, but imagine if TNA promoted Sting vs. RVD for the last two weeks or even a week? Jeff Hardy was fine, but if nobody knows he is there, how do you expect them to sit through that horrendous Jeff Jarrett-Beer Money segment? Hey, it’s okay to have surprises every once in a while but when you are making such a monumental move, you need to lay all of your cards on the table and let the fans know about these special appearances and dream matches. TNA has pulled similar stunts on pay-per-views which even make less sense to me. The only surprise here is that a company would be that dumb as to hold all of their cards to their vest and expect fans to be waiting with baited breath for their big surprise.
My other criticism of TNA after watching this week is that I still really don’t understand the main storyline. I have been watching wrestling for 30 years and have worked in wrestling for well over a decade. Surely someone like me should be able to follow a simple storyline. If Dixie owns the company, can’t she just fire Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan? If Bischoff and Hogan are in charge, why is Dixie making matches? Whatever happened to Mick Foley’s ownership in the company? I honestly don’t get it and I really don’t get who is fighting for whom here at the end of the day. I think a little bit of ambiguity is a good thing, but this is just unheard of for a main storyline.
I can sit here and play Tuesday Morning Quarterback and pick apart various angles throughout the show, but that would just be nitpicking. My personal tastes may not equal the audience that TNA is targeting which I completely understand. Yet the audience that they are targeting is tuning out in droves. The bigger problem here is what TNA Wrestling’s next move will be. I can’t imagine their rating getting much better in its current state. Television is a tricky thing and it is not a given that TNA could just slide back to Thursdays with no repercussions. Will Spike TV just sit back and watch TNA slide from a 1.0, to a 0.88, to a 0.80? The irony here is that there was no logical reason for the move to Mondays. Dixie Carter was talked into one of the biggest con jobs in the history of the pro wrestling business.
Unfortunately for her, there may be no turning back.
Eric Gargiulo hosts Pro Wrestling Radio which airs Monday nights live at 7 PM/EST. To listen to the show and join the chat room live on Monday, click here. Check out http://www.prowrestlingradio.com for more details and archived shows.
Eric Gargiulo co-hosts “The Still Real to us show” with Jeff Peck which can be available at www.wheelhouseradio.comand can be downloaded in the “Real Guy Radio” section of the site. There you can also download many different shows including “The Wheelhouse”, “24 on 24″ and “Lost: Smoke Monsters and You.”
Order the WWE Hulk Hogan’s Unreleased Collector’s Series DVD collection by clicking here.
Order Hulk Hogan’s new autobiography, My Life Outside the Ring by clicking here.
Last Monday night, 3-8-10, the Monday Night wars returned full time as TNA IMPACT took on WWE RAW head to head on live television! Who made their shocking returns/debuts? How did TNA truly make an IMPACT on the professional wrestling industry as we know it? Let’s get to the review and find out!
IMPACT opened up with a brand new video package open and pyro display. great stuff! Crowd was electric! abyss and Hogan came out sporting the red and yellow! They cut a promo claiming that they wanted their match with Flair and Styles right then and there! AJ and Flair came out the the main event was underway! Guess this was why TNA had been heavily hyping the first five minutes of the show!
Hulk Hogan And Abyss VS. AJ Styles (C) And Ric Flair Ended In No Contest
The match began, but before it could pick up any momentum whatsoever, the lights went out and “The Icon” Sting’s theme music filled the IMPACT Zone! The light went back on and there was Stinger in the center of the ring! We all thought he was going to take out AJ and Flair, but shockingly he turned on Hogan and Abyss, taking them both down and out with his patented baseball bat! AJ then grabbed a chair and cracked Abyss over the head with it and then Flair followed with a chair shot of his own onto Hogan. Both men were busted wide open! As Flair and AJ walked away, Hogan got on the mic and announced that they would still be having this match later in the night! Great, great segment here! It not only featured the shocking return and heel turn of Sting, but also opened things up with the main event which would now be restarted later! Very smart ratings-wise!
After a commercial break, Kaz stood in the ring and cut a promo claiming that he had come back to TNA to restore the X Division! Huge, and I mean huge pop from the crowd! He was soon interrupted by Christopher Daniels who claimed that it would not be Kaz who would carry the X Division in the future, it would be him! The two argued back and forth for a few moments until they were both interrupted by the X Division Champion Doug Williams who claimed he was the one who would carry the X Division. At this point, Eric Bischoff came out and acknowledges the fact that Kaz had a title shot at Destination X, but he said he had a better idea. The three men would have a three way match for the title right there and then!
Doug Williams (C) Defeated Kaz and Daniels To Retain His TNA X Division Championship
Vintage X Division action here! Great, great fast paced action throughout! It’s about time! Looks like the X Division may be on its way to restoring itself as the adrenaline, as Eric Bischoff stated, of TNA! again, great work from all three men with Daniels and Williams getting heat from the crowd several time throughout the duration of the match. Crowd loved Kaz, who in my opinion is one of the most underestimated pro wrestlers in TNA history! Picture perfect flip dive to the outside courtesy of Kaz in the early going. This reminded me of the all so competitive X Division matches from TNA’s past. The good old days! Shockingly, this match went nearly ten minutes! Can you believe it? TNA is finally giving more time for not only X Division matches, but matches in general! In the end, Daniels went for the BME, missed, and Williams hit the Chaos Theory for the win. Great match! After the match, Shannon Moore ran out and took out Williams! Eric Bischoff announced that Moore would face Williams for the title at Destination X. Sounds fun, however I was really looking forward to a Kaz push. Maybe Kaz will feud with Daniels though.
The Beautiful People Defeated Tara And Angelina Love And Taylor Wilde And Sarita To Become The New TNA Knockout Tag Team Champions
It was announced that Kong and Hamada had to forfeit the titles for not defending in thirty days. Damn Bubba The Love Sponge! Nice Knockout showcase here, but not given enough time to really pick up much momentum. On the bright side, The Beautiful People do look to be improving though. After about three or four minutes of action, Daffney came out and hit Tara with the title belt behind the ref’s back enabling The Beautiful People to win the titles! Nice way to further the Tara/Daffney feud, however I’m by no means thrilled with The Beautiful People as the new tag champs.
Rob Van Dam Defeated Sting
An angry and confused Dixie Carter ordered this match earlier in the evening. Sting came out and awaited his surprise opponent. before the match, Taz asked Mike Tenay what he was doing at 4:20 that afternoon. TNA just cannot keep a secret! RVD’s theme hit as the IMPACT Zone literally erupted! He came from the crowd, hit Sting with a leaping side kick from the top, hit Rolling Thunder, and got the win if under ten seconds! Explosive way for RVD to debut while not hurting Sting because he was more or less caught off guard. After the bell, Sting went off on RVD, savagely assaulting him with his baseball bat! Soon, Hulk Hogan’s theme hit and he made a beeline toward Sting with vengeance on his mind! Security prevented the two from getting a hold from one another, but Sting broke free, hitting both Hogan and several security guards with the bat. Pretty cool segment which will make for a very intriguing storyline. again, I have no problems with storylines involving veterans, just as long as the young guys are the companies’ major focus.
After another commercial break, Kevin Nash and Eric Young came out to the ring and called out Hall and Waltman. They held a contract which would allow Hall and Waltman to compete for TNA for one time and one time only. Hall and Waltman soon came out to the ring from the crowd, and once again security stood between the four men. A deal was eventually made where at Destination X, if Hall and Waltman win they are signed with TNA, and if they loose they are gone for good! Eric Bischoff then orders that security take Nash and Hall away and leave Eric Young to kick Waltman’s, who slapped Young in the face earlier, ass all over the building!
Eric Young Defeated Sean Waltman
Nice impromptu match here featuring both men fighting in street clothes. Very short match, but both men looked good, including Waltman who looks to be in pretty good ring shape. Young went over in under one minute with a sick piledriver! Can’t believe they put Young over Waltman one on one at all, let alone in under one minute! Very surprising, and in a good way at that! This storyline is decent, but hopefully Hall and Waltman loose at Destination X. I don’t mind Waltman, but Hall isn’t necessary.
We now witnessed about 25 members of the United States Military surround the ring, followed by the entrance of Kurt Angle! Angle cut another promo putting over the troops and putting under Mr. Anderson if you will. He was soon interrupted by Anderson who mocked both Angle and the troops. Anderson then attempt to leave up the ramp but the troops stop him! They force him into the ring where Angle blasts him! Angle precedes in throwing him out of the ring on all four corners of the ring for the troops to get their shots in! Finally, Angle hit the Angle Slam and the troops hoisted him up in the air to end the segment! Great segment here to further the Anderson/Angle trilogy! Hopefully Anderson will get the best of Angle next week though for it’s always more interesting for a heel to go into a PPV match with momentum and the face looking for revenge.
Beer Money Defeated Jeff Jarrett
Looks like Beer Money are heels now. Seems really, really sudden if you ask me! Just last week everything is all good with the fans and they have momentum, and now all of a sudden they’re full fledged heels! I like them better as heels anyhow. They were starting to get a bit stale as faces anyhow. Hopefully they will go and pursue their singles careers too sometime in the near future. Anyway, this match was another plow from Eric Bischoff in his storyline with Jarrett. Foley was also involved here for he was the special ref. Pretty formulaic stuff here going about five minutes or so. Toward the end, Mick Foley actually handed Jarrett a barbed wire baseball bat, but Slick Johnson took it away and Beer Money hit the DUI for the three. Glad Beer Money went over though. Interesting way of bringing another element to the Bischoff and Jarrett and Bischoff and Foley saga by somehow interlinking them into one.
Hulk Hogan And Abyss Defeated AJ Styles And Ric Flair In A No DQ Match
Main event time! Flair and Hogan battled one another for the majority of the beginning section of the match. Soon, both men were busted open, especially Flair. He was a bloody mess! Nice old school brawling here which I haven’t seen for quite a while. Pretty fun to watch again, especially intermixed with the new school wrestling of AJ and Abyss! Also, this main event went more then five minutes! Record main event match length! It actually went about ten to twelve minutes. Very, very solid stuff. great example of what I’d call a clash of generations! Flair looked alright, but I’ll admit Hogan looked pretty stiff and rightfully so. The blood really made things a lot more interesting though, unlike WWE! In the end, Abyss hit AJ with a Black Hole Slam for the pin! Surprised that Abyss got the pin and not Hogan! This is great! Way to go TNA! By the way, I’m actually not being sarcastic this time! After the match, Desmond Wolfe came out and hit Abyss with a chair. “The Pope” who wolve attacked earlier, ran out and evened up the odds. Then, Jeff Hardy ran out and hit hit AJ Styles with a Twist Of fate as IMPACT went off the air! Not sure was Hardy’s involved here, unless TNA just kind of threw him out there to end the show with more momentum. This would have been a better job for RVD in my mind with Hardy doing the Angle where he was beaten by Sting. Looks like things may be staring to form regarding the upcoming Lethal Lockdown matchup in a few months!
Overall, this was an excellent effort by TNA Wrestling! They exceeded my expectations to be honest. very happy with the X Division stuff, both promo/angle and the match itself. More time was also given to matches with is a big fat plus! great intrigue build around Sting as well as hardy and RVD! Again, as long as the veterans don’t take over the show and overshadow the young guys, I’m happy as a lark! With Lockdown coming up it will be easier to distribute this balance because of the multi-man Lethal Lockdown match. great show by TNA and if this is any indication of we should expect from TNA on Monday nights in the future, WWE better watch out! I give this show an A!
Todd Frizzell is from Columbus Ohio, and has been a huge professional wrestling fanatic for the last ten years. Todd is very interested in all aspects of pro wrestling, including what goes on when the cameras aren’t rolling. Todd is very excited to write about his passion, and will try his best to entertain and provoke the wrestling fans.
Order TNA: Kurt Angle: Champion on DVD by clicking here.
Order the WWE Hulk Hogan’s Unreleased Collector’s Series DVD collection by clicking here.
Order Hulk Hogan’s autobiography, My Life Outside the Ring by clicking here.
Score this season with sports betting, live NCAA basketball odds and March Madness Betting matchups with the only online sportsbook offering up to 295% in total bonuses for NCAA betting.
I was in the middle of doing The Wheelhouse show when the ratings for the March 15 TNA Impact were released and didn’t get a chance to look at it until I got home to read an e-mail from the great Eric Gargiulo. In it he sent me the ratings for TNA Impact and WWE Raw from the past Monday March 15th shows. WWE Raw received a 3.7 rating while TNA Impact in show #2 of the Monday Night Wars II headed by up by Eric Bischoff & Hulk Hogan received a 0.84 rating, the lowest rating for TNA Impact in four years.
This past Monday night, TNA presented their next 
-What I wouldn’t give to relive the WWE 
-So this was a bit like the end of an era for years truly. I was graduating high school in just three months, making this the first 
Thank goodness TNA Wrestling love surprises. The all-important ratings are in for the start of the new weekly Monday Night Wrestling Wars. The pressure was undoubtedly on TNA Wrestling who drew first blood by moving their TNA Impact television show from Thursdays to Mondays to run head-up against WWE RAW. Well after promises of surprises and a “hot first five minutes”, the Impact rating is in and let’s just say the only surprise is a dismal debut for TNA and a lot of bleeding from two legends who are wrestling way past their prime.
