-80% done. Abso-sanely incredible. Now I know how my boss Eric Gargiulo felt when he came over to Ellis Island ninety-three years ago with nothing but three dollars in his pocket and the dreams of calling matches involving fluorescent lighting tubes. Like my good friend Eric, I can see the Island. I’m not quite there, but I’m close.

-And it’s apropos that I bring up a New York landmark, as the huddled masses of the WWE roster rolled into Madison Square Garden in New York City on March 14, 2004, which was the earliest WrestleMania to date. With 12 matches stretched over a five hour (yes, you read it right) time slot, there’s little doubt that Vince McMahon wanted this event to be completely and utterly memorable. Would it live up to the high expectations?

-Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are providing commentary for Raw again, with Michael Cole and Tazz doing Smackdown. When there’s an inter-brand match, one team is chosen arbitrarily. In a sport where every match has a number one contendership on the line, they just hand over duties to one side without reason? Sounds fishy, and I have no idea why.

-Harlem Boys Choir kick things off and no worries, I already made my Pat Patterson joke in the last rant. I’m good for a few shows.

-The show kicks off with Big Show defending the US Title against…..John Cena. Yep, Cena opens a PPV, it happened. Cena was still a coarse rhyme-smith at this stage, wearing throwback jerseys to the ring (in this case, Patrick Ewing, though Cena has far more World Titles). Here’s an interesting theorem for you to digest: when a wrestler wears clothing that depicts a real life aspect of pop culture (Headbangers with Marilyn Manson, New Age Outlaws with South Park, John Cena with sports throwbacks), they become a cult favorite. When they eschew the attire in order to wear WWE-licensed shirts with their own logo and pictures and such, then they stop being cool. Reason one why everyone over age 20 turned on Cena.

-Show was bordering on useless at this point. Moreso than usual. Alright, it’s indistinguishable, you got me.

-Show dominates with his hoss-fense, and the crowd chants “Let’s Go Cena”. In New York City? If you played this tape at an ROH convention or at some smark rally in some loser’s basement, they’ll probably claim you doctored the tape.

-Cena manages to land an FU, but Show kicks out. Cena teases the Ultimate Warrior “my hands are telling me that my destiny is to lose” deal, but then realizes that he’s not going to job to frigging BIG SHOW. So he belts the monster with his faux “Word Life” knux and lands a second FU to win his first piece of WWE gold. Not a good match, but it got the crowd going. Nothing wrong with being the rah-rah guy on a five hour show. If this were curling, Cena would have pushed the stone.

-Backstage, we find three men. One of them is the Raw GM, and the other two are his two toadies. Nowadays, respectively, they are TNA’s on-air authority, an ESPNews employee, and an upper carder on Smackdown. So Jonathan Coachman’s better off than Eric Bischoff and John Morrison? I need to go soak my brain in some lemon juice.

-Meanwhile, Randy Orton has a monologue on the staircase where he kicked Mick Foley around on nine months prior, while flanked by Batista and Ric Flair. Man, if you asked me in 2004, I would have said Flair was way cooler than the other two OVW slimes. Now? He’s a distant third.

-Next we have an excuse to give eight men a payday: Rob Van Dam and Booker T will defend Raw’s Tag Team Titles against The Dudley Boyz, La Resistance (consisting of Maritimer Rene Dupree and American Rob Conway), and The Utah Jazz (Lance Cade and Mark Jindrak). If Cade and Jindrak were any whiter, Sheamus could get a gig at the Apollo just by standing next to them. “Vat eez the deal with midcarders getting titles too early? I mean, ree-lee?”.

-When you’re in a match with eight men that’s being rushed, get your moves in now. Bubba with the Dusty Rhodes elbow. Booker with the side kick. RVD with the spin kick. Dudleyz land 3D. Cade gets the….umm….did Cade even have a move? There’s nothing besides the paint-by-numbers heavyweight offense that they taught him in OVW? God, what does WWE see in him?

-To speed things along, Van Dam flattens Conway with the Five Star to keep the titles with RVD and Book. Why did Conway have to job? He actually had a personality and ability. Well, I guess they had to keep Jindrak strong for his career apex of playing Kurt Angle’s personal Stormtrooper. Match was decent.

-Backstage, Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund are found necking with Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah. Jonathan Coachman is horrified. He’s horrified because he forgot to ask Heenan “What am I doing wrong as a heel commentator?”. It’s just as well, since Heenan would have either said “everything” or “who the hell are you, Pez Whatley’s kid?”

-Video package to hype the Chris Jericho-Christian-Trish Stratus love triangle. Sadly, no clip of Christian telling Jericho “This is not the OC!”. If it was, Trish would need to stop eating altogether. Well, someone’s gotta play the Mischa Barton role.

-Finally acting in character for a change, Jericho just tackles Christian and hammers away. I dunno, Jericho sweating over a woman and losing his mind over her just doesn’t feel right. How can you explain this side of Jericho and his current outlook? Did Trish’s rejection turn him into a robot with abject disillusionment with the world? Makes sense to me.

-Jericho alternates between out wrestling Christian and beating the crap out of him, and Christian turns the tide with a thumb to the eye. As dumb as this storyline was in terms of two thirty year old, known-to-be-married men fighting over a starlet co-worker, at least the match is good. Kinda hard to fault these two.

-After spending a good chunk of the match reversing, countering, and answering back with moves, Christian locks Jericho in the Texas cloverleaf. Or is it the Ontario Maple leaf? That’s what RVD’s missing: the San Bernardino Hemp leaf! He can have that one for free.

-A superplex spot is blown when Christian slips, but they make up for it and do it anyway. You know, if Kevin Nash did that, two things: one is he’d be crucified for blowing the spot and, two, we’d be in disbelief that he broke his usual arsenal for one match. Let’s just move on.

-Jericho gets the Walls, but Christian nabs the ropes to escape. Trish comes bouncing out (literally) and Christian brings her in the hard way. An inadvertent elbow knocks Jericho into a Christian roll-up, giving Edge’s little brother the win. Afterward, Trish turns on Jericho with a hard smack, and Christian hits the Unprettier to give birth to “Trishtian”. Cheer up, Jericho. If you had won Trish’s heart, how would you have explained it to Jessica? Damn good match.

-The Rock gives a whacked out promo backstage to set up the greatest handicap match of all time: Rock and Mick Foley against Ric Flair, Randy Orton, and Batista. We used to argue whether Batista or Orton was the most useless guy in the match. We ain’t too bright, is we?

-Rock stealing the Flair strut = awesome.

-Match starts with a flurry, with Rock taking Flair down on the floor with a backdrop and Foley coming off with the big elbow. Crowd is in a frenzy early.

-Foley gets Orton in the ring to continue their issue, and Orton bails like a coward. Foley hammers him into the table and brings him back in for more punishment. Here’s the good thing about Mick: he sells for anyone and will put any kid over, with no politics. Except for burying Test in his book, which I still think is funny.

-Speaking of putting people over, here’s Rock to sell for Batista and Orton. I wish I had known this was his final match. I woulda painted my eyebrow on and worn my elbow pad and….well, not really, you see, I was umm….back to the match at hand here.

-Foley plays face in peril while Batista and Orton water their own learning trees with this opportunity. Within weeks, Batista and Orton would be having great tag team matches with the likes of Benoit, Edge, Benjamin, Michaels, and others. You’re seeing it now in WWE with guys like Rhodes, Dibiase, Ziggler, Kingston, and Miz all getting better through osmosis with the older names. Hey, TNA: if you use the older guys to bring the young kids up, you can weed out the has-beens and live on the kids’ newfound reputations. That’s why Batista and Orton crush Flair and Foley in the ratings. MAKE A NOTE OF THIS!

-Rock gets the hot tag and cleans house on everyone. Batista halts the rush with a spinebuster and Flair tries the Senior’s Elbow, but Rock puts an end to it. After cleaning house again, Rock lands his own People’s Elbow on Flair. Great fun.

-Orton gets tagged in and runs right into Rock Bottom. In all the confusion, Batista drops The Great One with the Batista Bomb. After Rock barely kicks out, he tags in Foley, who cleans house himself. However, after he prepares Mr. Socko, he walks into the RKO to give Orton the biggest pinfall win of his career to that point. Whew, insanely fun match with a murderer’s row of main eventers and champions. Rock consoles Mick afterward, and Mick consoles him for having to have such a crappy goatee in that equally crappy Be Cool flick. Thanks for the aweome career, Rock. Have fun with that Disney money.

-Hall of Fame recap is next, a year that saw Bobby Heenan, Tito Santana, Big John Studd, Harley Race, Pete Rose, Don Muraco, Greg Valentine, Junkyard Dog, Superstar Billy Graham, Sgt. Slaughter, and Jesse Ventura all get inducted. Say what you will about Pete Rose, but he took a stinkface from Rikishi. That alone warrants induction, I think.

-Next up, Sable and Torrie Wilson face Stacy Keibler and Miss Jackie in an evening gown match. All the participants remove their gowns to start, but Miss Jackie is stand-offish. So she can make out with some loser on Tough Enough in a hot tub, but this is too much? Interesting.

-Cole on commentary says Tazz stabbed him with his pencil, and Tazz assures him that it wasn’t his pencil. Well then.

-Torrie pins Jackie and spanks her during the roll-up. I’d have included more content, but I write enough erotic letters to Hustler each week, and this would only detract from my usual quality. So rent the DVD, pervos.

-Meanwhile, Eddie Guerrero tries to motivate Chris Benoit by using reverse psychology. Show of hands?
Who else thought of a REALLY snappy punchline to that, but felt sick for even thinking it? I did, too.

-For more filler featuring some lesser-seen talents, we move onto the Cruiserweight open, which is a ten man gauntlet with the Cruiserweight Title on the line. The order of elimination goes like so:

-Shannon Moore jobs to Ultimo Dragon, who slipped during his entrance. Being the first one gone in this match must make you feel like Marsellus Wallace when he got picked by Zed during eeny meeny miney mo. Even the odds hate you.

-Jamie Noble comes in and dominates….some midcarders. He makes Dragon tap, and then pins Funaki in negative nanoseconds, then beats his forgotten cousin Nunzio by count out. It’s this spark and sass that made Noble a dominant ROH Champion for about seven hours.

-Then Billy Kidman hits the ring and dispatches Noble. Then Kidman jobs to Rey Mysterio, who’s dressed as The Flash. Kidman’s The Flash also, except his last name is “in the Pan”.

-Akio is unable to participate due to being blinded by Tajiri, and Rey pins Tajiri to bring it down to him and champion Chavo Guerrero. After some chicanery involving Chavo’s dad, Chavo “FREAKING AWESOME” Classic, Chavito retains the gold. Man, I miss Chavo Classic. He did a good job hosting Raw recently with Tommy Chong, however.

-Brock Lesnar-Bill Goldberg video to hype their epic match. Hey kids, when I say “epic”, you say…..yep, that’s right!

-Stone Cold Steve Austin and his over sized four wheeler of fun are the guest enforcers. He gets the biggest cheer of the three people involved in this match. Of course, that’s like saying that Capt. Sully Sullenberger won a popularity contest over Herpes and The Syph. Are you really surprised?

-Now, I could thoroughly recap this match, or I can tell you a joke I made up. You like jokes, right? Of course you do.

-Two muscle heads walk into a bar. They each order a bottle of “Over-With-The-Crowd Lager”. The bartender informs them that he can’t serve them this beverage because they don’t plan to come back to said bar, and it’s only for long-term commitment patrons. So the two muscle heads say “Fine, we’ll just occupy space for 15 minutes and do nothing!”. So the muscle heads proceed to do just that until the 20,000 patrons of the bar scream obscenities at them, which doesn’t faze them. Finally, a bald man runs in and beats up both guys himself. The other patrons roared mightily. Then the bald guy beat up a woman at random and the patrons still cheered. One patron sat stunned and muttered “Why would they cheer a wife beater over two men who don’t wish to be regular patrons anymore?”. And then Justin said “You must not be a wrestling fan!”.

-Bad as the joke was, it was still better than the match. Goldberg wins with a Jackhammer and Austin beats both guys up. I’d add more, but the match already damaged my brain. Let’s not let it hurt my fingers too.

-Vince is here to thank the fans. For sitting through that last match? Yeah, you better thank them.

-I have about 1600 words left before I get to my personal space limit, so rather than waste time with the next pointless match, let’s get it over with: Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty retain the WWE Tag Team Titles over the APA, The Bashams, and The World’s Greatest Tag Team. Real quick, a note to Rikishi: when you’re going to give a man a stinkface and you have to arch your stomach out before doing it, because you’ve gotten so fat that to merely stand in front of him would mean that your ass would already be in his face, then it’s time to lose weight. Nothing match.

-Next up, Jesse Ventura comes out to ask Donald Trump to help him with his 2008 Presidential campaign. Well, Jesse almost got as many votes as Dennis Kucinich, so he’s clearly on the right track.

-Following that spirited jaunt, we come to a Title vs. Hair match, as Victoria defends her WWE Women’s Title against Molly Holly, who’s putting her hair on the line. Do you think George Steele and A-Train could done a back hair vs. back hair match on PPV and drawn? Me either.

-The match is technically fine, but it’s a five hour show and everyone’s just waiting for the main events, because they want to see Guerrero put Angle down, Undertaker come back, and Benoit do what he does best and that’s not disappoint. Wait….

-Victoria wins it with a backslide, and Molly tries to be a truant, but she eventually gets strapped into the chair, and Victoria shaves away with a satisfied and exhausted grin. I found this hot, I don’t know about any of you. Feel free to dislike me for it.

-Guerrero-Angle recap video to hype the WWE Title match. The only thing that could have made Eddie’s celebration at No Way Out better was if his brother Hector was in the crowd dressed as the Gobbeldy Gooker. You know that would have ruled more than anything else.

-Crowd finally comes to life during a chain wrestling sequence, as MSG has always appreciated good technical wrestling. They even do the ROH/TNA chant of “LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS”, which I find amusing. It’s like an act of rebellion from the smarks: “We cheer the heel AND the face! What are YOU gonna do about it?”. And the booker says “I dunno, get laid after the show?”. The smarks then narrow their eyes and say “….you win this time.”

-After Angle counters the Three Amigos (Two Amigos in current WWE acknowledgment canon) with a German, he gets the uber-creepy German attempt on the apron that looks like something out of day three of Pat Patterson’s fundamen—alright, there’s the requisite Patterson joke. Happy now?

-After Guerrero wipes out on a plancha, Angle brings him back in for a pain session to slow things down. Good, frenetic match so far, as neither man could really have a bad match. Crowd’s warming to Eddie, who really defied the odds to become a main eventer. Hey Vince, when Guerrero does it, it’s defying the odds. When Cena does it, it’s a marketing machine clearly standing behind him. I like Cena, but let’s be realistic here.

-A fast paced sequence ends with Angle trying for the Angle Slam, but Guerrero coming out of it with an armdrag. I’m enjoying myself.

-Another Three Amigos attempt is countered on numero tres into an Ankle Lock. Guerrero fights, not wanting to give up and the fans are really awake now, identifying with the champion’s struggle. Guerrero finally kicks him away.

-After falling victim to Angle’s super belly to belly throw, Angle latches on a second ankle lock, but Guerrero cradles him for two. After countering an Angle Slam into a DDT, Guerrero lands the Frog Splash, but Angle gets the shoulder up for two. Crazy great stuff, and the fans are behind Guerrero 100%.

-As Guerrero is in disbelief, Angle tries for a third ankle lock, but Guerrero kicks him off to the floor. Guerrero unties the boot on the injured ankle, and Angle goes back in for it. With the lock applied again, Guerrero kicks off and Angle’s left holding the boot. A surprised Angle is then cradled to give Guerrero the win to retain. Great, great match. My brother had no idea why Guerrero untied his boot (to slip out of the ankle lock easier) and Michael Cole explained it perfectly. So, yeah, Cole is smarter than my brother. I don’t think Josh ever recovered.

-Undertaker-Kane highlight package. You know how it goes: boy kills brother under a ton of dirt….and that’s about all.

-Kane comes out first with a nice entrance bit where the NYC set behind him “catches fire”. The lights then go out and we hear the voice of Paul Bearer, as he leads the Druids to the ring, which leads to classic Undertaker’s entrance. Undertaker was basically still Bikertaker, except with a new hat and his old mannerisms. But still, the MSG fans are thrilled, as was my viewing party. Nothing like the Dead Man gimmick to speak to your inner child.

-What follows is the typical Taker-Kane match, with Undertaker re-establishing all of his old tricks that made him The Dead Man in the first place. I was happy because I was so tired of that annoying Southern drawl that made Taker look like an out-of-shape hybrid of Mark McGwire and Sam Elliott. He should be a zombie forever, even when he’s 70, and will then be 42-0 at WrestleMania. Fine by me.

-Undertaker sits up from a Kane choke slam, and then reciprocates it. He then follows with the Tombstone for the relatively quick win. Not a good match, but it was a fun moment to enhance the show’s appeal. You just need these moments sometimes.

-And now, the match I’d waited years for. I wasn’t alone. And now, what was once a proud cult who relished this match, it’s become a dwindling minority. Triple H defends the World Heavyweight Title against Shawn Michaels and, yes, Chris Benoit. Let’s see if my feelings change watching it.

-Hey Hunter, nice white boots. Nobody can pull of the “He-Man goes Go-Go Dancing” look like you.

-Benoit and Shawn attack Hunter from the outset, but take time to beat each other down as well. Benoit tries a Crossface, but Shawn blocks. Benoit could have won right there in under a minute, and I would have been fine with it.

-This entire opening sequence is so well choreographed, as they take turns doing one on one bits, and nobody “plays dead” for so long that it seems contrived. A testament to all three men’s abilities.

-Shawn takes down both Benoit and HHH on the floor, and then heads up top to land a moonsault onto both men. Shawn was 38 here and still doing dives like that? Hey, if he’s not going to win the match, he’s going to steal the show for himself. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

-Triple H spends the next portion of the match in control, dominating both men until Benoit comes to life and drills him with a clothesline. He gets the rolling Germans, but tries for the diving headbutt and Shawn crotches him up top. Shawn tries SCM on Hunter, but eats a DDT. I think my stomach lining was like Swiss cheese at this point.

-HHH tries the Pedigree on Benoit, but Chris counters with the Crossface, which Shawn stops. Crowd doesn’t like that. Is it blasphemous to boo Shawn?

-Rolling Germans and diving headbutt for Shawn, but Benoit gets knocked outside. Shawn hits the SCM on Hunter, but Benoit pulls the champ to ringside to keep the match alive. I couldn’t take much more of this.

-Shawn opens up a MASSIVE cut after being sling shotted into the post. If Shawn’s wrists ever bleed simultaneously, he’ll have won me over. No more Jesus jokes then.

-The big turning point comes on the floor when Shawn and Hunter team up to double suplex Benoit through a commentary table. The idea was that this was to have finished Benoit as Shawn and HHH settled their feud.

-Back inside, Shawn does manage to bust Hunter open, but HHH lands the Pedigree out of thin air. My heart was sinking until Benoit slid in and broke the pin up. Whew.

-Benoit manages to counter the Pedigree into the Sharpshooter, and the place comes unglued. Hunter almost taps, but Shawn lands Sweet Chin Music at the last moment. He can only get 2, however. A second attempt sees Benoit backdrop a horribly bloodied Shawn all the way into the aisle. YAY!

-But Hunter lurked behind Benoit, and my heart fully sank. He tried the Pedigree, but Benoit snatched the Crossface to a huge pop. With no one to save HHH, he futily tried to roll Benoit over, but The Crippler held on. Finally, Hunter tapped to finally give Benoit a World Title and cause a smarkgasm the likes of which have never been seen. Guerrero comes out to celebrate and both men tearfully parade in confetti as JR gives a great sendoff. A tremendous match, circumstances aside, and still an all time favorite of mine.

-Drowning Pool’s “Step Up” plays off the show with highlights. Underrated Mania theme.

-CYNIC SAYS: Five hours flies by when you take two days to do the show in parts. I know I glossed over a lot of stuff, but that’s because they stretched things out to get about 50 people involved in matches. Four of them are great (both World Title matches, Rock and Sock vs. Evolution, Christian/Jericho) and there was enough fun moments otherwise (Taker’s return, Cena’s win, lingerie, the Hall of Famers, Lesnar/Goldberg’s crapfest) to make the entire show worthwhile.

If you can get past the controversy behind the main event, then this is a damn fine anthology that defined this era of WWE. I highly recommend watching all five hours, even the slow parts.

When he isn’t watching WWE, TNA, or his beloved Philadelphia Eagles and Phillies, Justin Henry can be found writing. It is his passion as well as his goal in life to become a well-regarded (as well as well-paid) columnist or author. Subscribe to The Cynical Examination, his wrestling blog, at http://www.facebook.com.

WWE WrestleMania – The Complete Anthology 1985-2005 DVD Set

Read WWE WrestleMania : The Official Insider’s Story

Check out the WWE WrestleMania – The Complete Anthology, Vol. 1 – 1985-1989 (I-V)

WWE WrestleMania – The Complete Anthology, Vol. 2 – 1990-1994 (WrestleMania VI-X)

WWE WrestleMania – The Complete Anthology, Vol. 3 – 1995-1999 (WrestleMania XI-XV)

WWE WrestleMania – The Complete Anthology, Vol. 4 – 2000-2004 (WrestleMania XVI-XX)

From the ring to your wall – WWE REAL.BIG Wall Graphics on sale now at Fat Head!

When you hear the name “WrestleMania” you think of the biggest event of the year for the WWE. A culmination of a year of well thought out feuds and rivalries and a card that will leave you awestruck when you watch it. Let me tell you, that is not the case with the WrestleMania events you are about to read about.

In the paragraph’s that follow you will be reading about some of the most mind numbing and boring WrestleMania events of all time. These WrestleMania shows were so bad for the most part that it made me want to watch Mae Young give birth to another hand to take my mind off of them. Now sit back, grab your Alka Seltzer and get ready to read about the top 10 Worst WrestleMania Events of all time.

#10.
WrestleMania 25
Reliant Stadium
Houston, TX

Talk about a match overshadowing your main event. The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels was an all time classic match between two of the best performers the WWE has ever seen. Too bad it went on before the main event of HHH vs. Randy Orton for the WWE title, which was very anti-climatic considering the months of build up the match had. I did enjoy the Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy Extreme Rules match, even though in the WWE nowadays nothing can be to extreme thanks to the god damn PG rating they have. The MITB match also entertained me a little and they did work it right having Punk win for the second time as it spearheaded his recent amazing heel turn. Some of you may be surprised at this, but just watch it again and then get back to me.

#9.
WrestleMania 24
Citrus Bowl
Orlando, FL

I loved the Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair match where if Flair lost he would have to retire. This matched saved the show from being almost unbearable to watch. The emotion in this match was like what the old WWF used to put on in the good ole days. When Shawn mouthed the words “I’m sorry, I love you” to Flair before super kicking him, it made me get goose bumps. Now the rest of the card was just not that good at all. I didn’t want to see Cena fight Orton and HHH for the millionth time, and having Undertaker wrestle for a World title at a WrestleMania is pointless because you know almost for sure that he was going to win. This took away from Edge’s moment of headlining his first WrestleMania. The WWE just does not get it these days and it’s sad.

#8.
WrestleMania 23
Ford Field
Detroit, MI

There seems to be a trend here doesn’t there? This is one of the more recent WrestleMania’s, and also one of the worst. This event had a very good opening match with Mr. Kennedy winning the Money in the Bank ladder match. This match had very good participants and is in my opinion the second best MITB match ever. Kennedy cut’s an amazing promo at the end which adds even more to the match. The fact that this match so good and the rest of the show was like watching early 1990’s WCW doesn’t sit well with me. The Undertaker vs. Batista in a match other than a Hell in a Cell does not appeal to me, and seeing John Cena defeat another better wrestler then him for the second straight year in Shawn Michaels, pissed me off royally. I know they were trying to shove Cena down our throats, but come on seriously, enough is enough.

#7.
WrestleMania 13
Rosemont Horizon
Chicago, IL

It saddens me to put this WrestleMania ranked so low because of the fact that it had arguably the greatest WrestleMania match of all time in Stone Cold vs. Bret Hart. If you have not seen this match go buy the DVD right now and look at how a feud is supposed to be. But then I look at the rest of the card again and realize that I would rather watch an episode of Sunday Night Heat then to have to go through the pain of watching it. The main event of Undertaker vs. Psycho Sid was horrendous, and HHH faced Goldust and Rocky Maivia faced The Sultan. Enough said.

#6.
WrestleMania
Madison Square Garden
New York, NY

Some of you are probably thinking I have lost my mind rating the first WrestleMania this low. The only reason this WrestleMania ranks this high is because of the fact that it was the very first WrestleMania ever. The historical significance of this event cannot be overlooked. If it were not for that it very well could have ranked as the worst WrestleMania of all time. There is no one match on the card that is very good or stands out at all for that matter. Seriously, name another match. The main event was entertaining because of the fact that Mr. T was in it, but it really should have been Hogan vs. Piper. This would have had the ultra baby face against the bastard heel with Piper trying to cheat his way the entire time to win and Hogan coming out on top in the end.

#5.
WrestleMania XV
First Union Center
Philadelphia, PA

This WrestleMania would also rank even lower if it were not for the Stone Cold vs. The Rock match for the WWF title. This was a WrestleMania where the WWF just tried to stack as many people onto the card as possible, and they came up really short. Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac was mildly entertaining, and Stone Cold vs. The Rock was very good, but other than that the rest of the card was bad. The Undertaker vs. Big Bossman Hell in a Cell match was the worst one of its kind I have ever seen. How you make a Hell in a Cell match with The Undertaker bad back then is beyond me. While I like the fact they pushed the envelope with hanging Bossman from the cage, it was actually quite idiotic in retrospect.

#4.
WrestleMania IV
Trump Plaza
Atlantic City, NJ

Kind of ironic that the fourth worst WrestleMania ever is actually WrestleMania IV isn’t it? Here is my problem with this WrestleMania. While I do personally love the idea of a tournament for the title, this show just did not work for me. Most of the matches were boring and ended rather stupidly. The Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts match should have had a winner and he should have faced Bam Bam Bigelow in the Quarterfinals instead of having the One Man Gang beat Bigelow and then Gang get a draw. Sounds like something WWE would book these days by having Santino beat Christian and then get a bye after Edge and Jericho go to a draw in the other match. I personally would have had Dibiase win the WWF Title instead of Macho Man, and have Hogan try to help Macho out so they could still form the Mega Powers afterwards. I would then have had Hulk Hogan beat Dibiase at WrestleMania V. It’s not like Macho’s title reign was that good after this anyway?

#3.
WrestleMania IX
Caesar’s Palace
Las Vegas, NV

From the bad choice of venue, to the announcers wearing togas, all the way to Hulk Hogan stealing the limelight once again, this WrestleMania ranks up there as one of the worst of all time. I will give this WrestleMania one good review about it, the opening match between Shawn Michaels and Tatanka. This was a very good match up until the ending that made me want to shut the television off. Have Michaels at least cheat to win, just don’t have it end in a disqualification. This WrestleMania also had one of the worst mania matches of all time in the Undertaker vs. The Giant Gonzales. I wanted to poke my eye out with a rusty fork when I saw this match, that’s how bad it was. The Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect match had a lot of potential, but they botched that one up completely. While I do enjoy watching Hulk Hogan in a lot of the WrestleMania’s to follow, they just should not have taken away from Yokozuna winning the WWF title the way they did. No one wanted to see Hogan on top at that point.

#2.
WrestleMania XI
Hartford Civic Center
Hartford, CT

I really wanted to make this the worst WrestleMania of all time, I really did. The only thing keeping me from making this the worst WrestleMania of all time is the Diesel vs. Shawn Michaels match for the WWF title, other than that the entire card was unwatchable. You do not, I repeat, you do not put a retired NFL player and a washed up wrestler as the main event in the biggest event of the year for the company. You have Bret Hart regulated to having a mid-card match with a wrestler from the late 1970’s in Bob Backlund, and you have your opening match as Lex Luger & The British Bulldog against the Blu Brothers. They could of done so many things with this WrestleMania such as have a rematch of Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart, and that would have at least salvaged this god awful WrestleMania a little bit.

#1.
WrestleMania II
Nassau Coliseum
Long Island, NY

This has got to be the worst WrestleMania of all time. It saddens me to know that part of it took place in my own backyard in Long Island, N.Y. Whoever thought that the idea of having the matches take place from 3 different arenas was a good idea had to be clinically insane. The only watchable match on this card was the British Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team for the Tag Titles, and it was not even that good. The main event was Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy in a Steel Cage match. While on paper this might seem like a good idea, the match was atrocious and not done well at all. There is not one historic match at all on the card, or even a very good one for that matter. This mania even had Randy Savage put on a bad match, which is about as hard to do as the WWE putting on a good edition of RAW these days.

I welcome your questions, comments or suggestions for future articles. Contact me at richardciancioso@hotmail.com.

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This should come to a surprise to anyone on Camelclutchblog.com and fans of “The Still Real to Us Show.” It is a couple days after RAW during the Road to WWE WrestleMania 26. What am I talking about yet again this week? But of course, Randy Orton’s match for WrestleMania 26! The only exception to past blogs is that this match has become official now.

At WrestleMania 26 live in Glendale, Arizona we will be seeing a Triple Threat Match between Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. Yep, that’s what booking has come up with for this year’s WrestleMania with one of their biggest stars in the company from the last six years. I did not see this final result coming at all and I’m starting to think TNA is booking this angle.

Is Randy Orton really a face? I have no idea. He didn’t come off as a face this week on Raw when he took on Triple H. But then again he’s now teaming with Triple H next week on Raw to take on Sheamus, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes. This is by far the most confusing angle so far going into WrestleMania 26. You know what; it’s the only confusing angle heading into WrestleMania 26.

I have spent too much time breaking this angle down the last couple of weeks but that’s how mind boggled I have become by watching it week after week on Raw. I really feel like that this Triple Threat Match is setting up other angles now that could have lead up to WrestleMania not be featured at WrestleMania. This Triple Threat match could have been done at a Royal Rumble or Elimination Chamber because now it’s clearly setting up the rocket ship for not only Ted DiBiase to be a break out star but for also Cody Rhodes to become a break out star.

For weeks and months we have been hearing rumblings that Ted DiBiase was going to be a face and become a breakout star within the WWE. For that to happen he needed to break away from Orton & Legacy to become that star. It appeared that’s where they were heading following Elimination Chamber but obviously those plans were derailed.

I would have to wonder if WWE has lost faith in DiBiase becoming a big major star and that they feel that Cody Rhodes who seemed to be always the third wheel in this Legacy angle for the past two years can also become a top star. So to scrap the entire Orton/DiBiase deal they make it into a triple threat match where you have to figure some sort of swerve is going to take place to solidify Randy Orton back as a heel. Sorry Orton fans this temporary face/tweener deal with Orton is not going to last.

At WrestleMania 26 I still see Orton walking out as a heel no matter what, he walks alongside with him following the match is a whole different story. Creative wants the fans to believe that Legacy is going to work together in this and turn a Triple Threat match basically into a Handicap match. That’s not going to take place one way or another as the booking of the match happens.

I have been booking what WWE hasn’t been booking the last couple of weeks for this angle so take this obviously with a huge grain of salt. I see Orton alongside a member of Legacy (at this point flip a coin but I’d have to say Rhodes more then DiBiase) will beat down the other member of Legacy (I would guess DiBiase) and let Orton get the win. In essence creative has broken up Legacy, given a fresh face singles push to either Rhodes or DiBiase and created multiple feuds with the new face (DiBiase or Rhodes) vs. Orton & the member of Legacy who turns its back on the other at WrestleMania.

As I would have liked to see this angle take place at a Rumble or Elimination Chamber I can kind of understand where they may be taking this. Following WWE’s April PPV Extreme Rules, there will be another WWE draft. As we all know that is the night where we see stars go to another brand to become fresher singles stars (i.e. Morrison to Smackdown, Miz to Raw). For one of the members of Legacy to break off and become a bigger star they will have to receive a fresh start following this brief feud stemming from WrestleMania.

I still like Ted DiBiase in the role as the face coming off of all of this. Give him a quick angle at Extreme Rules with Orton and/or Rhodes and then let him get drafted to Smackdown. Let Rhodes get more of a spotlight put on him now that he is the only one teaming with a heel Randy Orton and set up an eventual turn on Orton months down the line.

The future sees that eventually DiBiase and Rhodes will become stars in the WWE. Whether it is upper mid-card or Main Event material they will eventually get some sort of singles spotlight in the near future. I can see both of these guys a year from now being involved in WrestleMania 27 with their own angle.

While this angle’s setup has received much confusion from me, I hope the end result pans out well for Rhodes & DiBiase. Orton doesn’t need it at all, he’s already there as the established top star. He needs to give eventually both of these guys the same rub that wrestlers like Chris Benoit and The Undertaker gave to him to build him up as an established star in the WWE.

This has the potential for being an intriguing angle at WrestleMania, while I feel like the stage for the angle itself isn’t necessarily the best I can also understand that you never know what can happen with WWE creative. They have been firing on all cylinders this year heading into WrestleMania 26 and have done a great job with the overall booking. As I continue to write these blogs regarding this angle week after week it’s also another friendly reminder why I don’t book wrestling shows, especially for the biggest wrestling company in the world.

While I am confused and have been confused I am still intrigued by what can take place at WrestleMania 26. I hope when I look back at this entire thing to write some sort of post show blog I can finally say the confusing doesn’t compare the execution that took place at Glendale, Arizona. We can only hope right? And as for this angle I hope this is the last time I have to write about this until AFTER WrestleMania 26.

If you have any questions or comments for Eric Gargiulo and I for this week’s “The Still Real to us Show” please e-mail us at thestillrealtousshow@gmail.com

Jeff Peck is the producer for the “Wheelhouse Radio” program that airs every Sunday – Thursday @ 8pm ET/5pm PT at www.blogtalkradio.com/thewheelhouse and at www.errorfm.com @ 2am ET/11pm PT

Jeff also co-hosts “The Still Real to us show” with Eric Gargiulo which can be available at www.wheelhouseradio.com and can be downloaded in the “Real Guy Radio” section of the site. There you can also download many different shows including “The Wheelhouse”, “24 on 24″ and “Lost: Smoke Monsters and You.”

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I realize that as I write this there is probably thousands of blogs floating around the World Wide Web regarding their own personal thoughts on last night’s first official shot to the restart of the Monday Night Wars in the world of wrestling. For what it’s worth it really wasn’t anything extremely special unless you don’t read any internet reports or even camelclutchblog.com as Rob Van Dam showed up on TNA Impact. Besides that it was very little bang in both shows that made us go “the Monday Night Wars are back!”

Taking a look first at TNA Impact where I have been pretty critical on the product lately in my blogs and on “The Still Real to us show.” I’ve been pretty critical of the product lately because of the things Hogan & Bischoff have done with the organization since they took over as it continues to look like a Hulk & friends expo more then anything. The main event they had setup for their first official Monday night show wasn’t all that appealing either.

TNA heavily promoted the “first five minutes” of their show were a “must see.” They didn’t tell us why they just told us to be there. Well if you went to TNA first you got the main event match in the first 5 minutes. You saw the return of Flair and Hogan in the ring. The match itself was dreadful and both legends are showing their age in the ring. The return of Sting was cool but a heel turn never works for Sting because no matter what he does the fans love him. I find it strange that in recent months Hogan & Bischoff have buried/re-packaged guys like Jarrett, Sting and Foley, three guys that were focal points for the organization in the last year.

For some reason TNA creative thought they would pull on the ol’ heart strings if Brooke Hogan cried and pleaded with her father not to wrestle. It did nothing for me. If they want to make me feel sad for Brooke Hogan make me listen to her album from front to back then I will feel a drop of sadness for Brooke Hogan.

Unsurprisingly Rob Van Dam closes his open door relationship with WWE to sign with TNA as was reported all last week within all the smart marks of wrestling. How do they debut Rob Van Dam? They give us a dream match in less then thirty seconds with Sting vs. RVD. When you heard RVD’s music come on as Sting awaited his opponent fans were popping in the living rooms as they finally got a match that they have waited to see on free TV.

Then the amazing booking of Vince Russo kicked in and we got a kick to the head, a rolling thunder and a three count. I was more pissed then anything else because it was a waste of time and a throw away match for two legendary wrestlers people want to see actually wrestle. The beat down of RVD left me scratching my head as there was no mention of RVD’s beat down for the rest of the show. Nice to see RVD was a pawn in a Hogan angle.

One of the only good things I saw out of Impact was the way they made Eric Young look last night. The fire and fight they made him have when he took on Sean Waltman was pretty awesome. Despite not being on the show for a whole lot of time I would give Eric Young the MVP, along with the X-Division match for last nights show as he showed the fire the TNA locker room once had.

One random thought from last night’s show was how many commercial breaks and promos they had. I understand ad revenue but damn it was pretty boring and hard to watch. The Nash/Young stuff with Waltman/Hall was dragging for too long. By the way who see Nash turning on Young or even vice versa to give Waltman & Hall contracts? Props to the TNA Impact zone fans for chanting “Hall is wasted.” Chant of the night.

Then to finish the show we get the Main Event again with Earl Hebner as referee for no reason what’s as ever as they brought him back after another “screw job” from a few weeks ago. Also don’t make me feel bad for the Hulkster when he’s taking to Bubba the Love Sponge. The guy doesn’t belong in wrestling and it’s sad that TNA sided with him after the years of service Awesome Kong gave the company.

Flair and Hogan showed their age yet again in this match. They look much slower then they did in their recent WWE runs and it was sad to see. But what do you expect out of a 60 year old and a man in his late 50s. Abyss/Hogan win and Abyss gets a title shot. Ok.

On the other side of the wrestling spectrum, the WWE and Raw has been fun to watch in recent weeks as they have really done a good job building toward Wrestlemania 26. Last night’s show may have been one of their least entertaining shows in weeks but still got a lot done to further expand their storylines which TNA did not do a good job of. Like Doug Williams vs. Shannon Moore for the X-Division Championship, ok why? Because Jeff Hardy signed that is Shannon Moore’s bonus?

The Undertaker/HBK stuff has been great in recent weeks with little physical confrontation to set up this match. They made sure the match at Wrestlemania 26 will not end in Disqualification and someone actually has to win the match. I have my suspicious on how it will end but either way Undertaker/HBK at Wrestlemania 26 is huge and the booking has made it feel that way.

I don’t like when the WWE gives away PPV matches on free TV, I don’t like it even more when it’s a Wrestlemania 26 match. The tag team match did nothing for me. I understand that they need to start building this match and it was nice to see they added it on Raw instead of just focusing it on Smackdown but the match itself did nothing for me.

As we have talked about a lot of “The Still Real to us show,” Eric Gargiulo and I have no idea where the Randy Orton/Legacy thing is going as we get closer to Wrestlemania 26. Is Orton a face? Is he a tweener character now? I have no idea and I feel that way even more from watching Raw. The fans cheered for him so the face ball is in his court. I’m hoping creative will have a good ending to this confusing build towards Wrestlemania.

Sheamus vs. Triple H is official for Wrestlemania 26 and I’m actually looking forward to this match. I think this will give Sheamus the opportunity to move in the step forward of being taken seriously as a main eventer in the fans eyes. I was also happy with Evan Bourne being the final participant for the “Money in the Bank” ladder match as Eric Gargiulo was right on the money (no pun intended) with his prediction for the last spot in the match.

As for the Main Event match it was “eh.” McMahon being in the main event was funny as it was definitely counter programming to TNA’s main event with the battle of the senior citizens. I didn’t really expect anything out of this match; the stuff with the gauntlet was interesting and made sense for wrestlers face or heel to do it because Vince McMahon is the boss. I hope something comes out of this for Mark Henry or Kofi Kingston as they were the only two to stand up to Vince McMahon.

This was probably the lowest of all the great stuff Cena & Batista have been doing lately in their build for the main event match for Wrestlemania 26. Batista lays out Cena again and continues to make Cena look like the guy that won’t “give up.” I have a feeling things will change next week with Steve Austin in charge of Raw.

With that being said next week’s Raw looks great with Stone Cold Steve Austin as the guest host. I love the “Wrestlemania rewind” stuff that WWE has done the past couple of years on Raw and this coming Monday should be fun to watch. Already three huge matches have been announced as Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho (possibly for the last time ever), Triple H vs. Randy Orton and John Cena vs. Big Show. Add the Bret Hart/Vince McMahon contract signing with Steve Austin overseeing it and we have a jammed packed show for next week’s Raw.

As for TNA they will be taped as they will be taping their next Monday show on Tuesday March 9th. That will take away from the rating for the show as some fans will read the spoilers and rather watch the action packed live Raw for next week. That will hurt the numbers at least for the second week of the Monday Night Wars.

As for both shows overall I really didn’t feel like there was a winner or a loser. Both shows were just kind of “eh.” I lean more to the WWE side because I don’t like what Hogan & Bischoff have done with TNA already as I have stated on past blogs and during “The Still Real to us show.” The ratings will obviously raise the hand of one winner but I don’t think the TNA rating for this past Monday will match or be better then the one from January 4th. TNA still clearly has some work to do before they reach the same level as WWE.

If you have any questions or comments for Eric Gargiulo and I for this week’s “The Still Real to us Show” please e-mail us at thestillrealtousshow@gmail.com

Jeff Peck is the producer for the “Wheelhouse Radio” program that airs every Sunday – Thursday @ 8pm ET/5pm PT at www.blogtalkradio.com/thewheelhouse and at www.errorfm.com @ 2am ET/11pm PT

Jeff also co-hosts “The Still Real to us show” with Eric Gargiulo which can be available at www.wheelhouseradio.com and can be downloaded in the “Real Guy Radio” section of the site. There you can also download many different shows including “The Wheelhouse”, “24 on 24″ and “Lost: Smoke Monsters and You.”

If you would like to subscribe to “The Wheelhouse” on iTunes simply subscribe for free at iTunes by typing in “Wheelhouse Radio!”

You can follow “The Champ” Jeff Peck on twitter by going to www.twitter.com/therealjeffpeck or you can follow Wheelhouse Radio! on Twitter by visiting their page @ www.twitter.com/thewheelhouse. You can also e-mail them @ wheelhouseradio@gmail.com

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The WWE will close out the road to WrestleMania 26 with a bang on Monday. In what is becoming a tradition, WWE RAW will feature a WrestleMania Rewind of WrestleMania rematches. On top of the familiar rematches, WWE Hall of Fame wrestler “Stone Cold” Steve Austin will captain the ship and run the show. Can you say WWE ratings bonanza?

Some will point to this strong effort as a response to TNA’s decision to go head to head on Monday nights with TNA Impact. However, Austin was booked on the show long before the weekly Monday Night Wars became a reality. Additionally, the WrestleMania Rewind has become something of an annual event leading into the biggest pro wrestling event of the year. Unfortunately for TNA, there really won’t be much they can do to combat what should be one of the most exciting editions of WWE RAW of the year.

The WWE announced three WrestleMania rematches on this week’s WWE RAW. Obviously with two hours to fill, there is a possibility that more could be added by G.M. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Already announced for Monday are a rematch of last year’s WrestleMania XXV co-main event Triple H vs. Randy Orton, a rematch from WrestleMania XIX between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels, and finally a rematch from the WrestleMania XX opener between John Cena and The Big Show.

Without a doubt, the Michaels-Jericho WrestleMania XIX rematch will be most anticipated by WWE fans. Michaels vs. Jericho had arguably the feud of the year two years ago. They wrestled each other several times in big matches with each match outdoing the other. Could this be Shawn Michaels next-to-last match? Both guys have a tremendous amount of respect for one another so this could be something of a tribute to Jericho by Michaels in giving him his second-to-last ever wrestling match.

The complexities of this whole Legacy feud just keep on growing with a rematch of last year’s main-event between Triple H and Randy Orton. It is really odd to me that two guys who have had big parts in the last several WrestleManias are playing such small roles this year. For Randy Orton, it is even stranger that as of this writing, Orton has yet to have an officially announced match at WrestleMania XXIV, although most expect some kind of a match with Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes. To me, this whole feud isn’t resonating with fans because there are no clear lines on who are the babyfaces and who are the heels. By sticking Randy Orton in a match with Triple H, the WWE are once again blurring the lines. However, if the match ends with Triple H and Orton standing side by side and fighting off members of Legacy and Sheamus, all of that would undoubtedly become clearer going into WrestleMania. Then again, how ridiculous would that be when after all Randy Orton did physically attack Trip’s wife a year ago? While I am not particularly interested in seeing a 500th match between these two, I must admit that I am curious to see where they go with this whole thing.

Finally The Big Show and John Cena will tangle in a rematch of their “classic” WrestleMania XX opener. In all seriousness, it really was a monumental match as it was Cena’s first big WrestleMania match. Now let’s be honest, I don’t think anyone is beating down the WWE door and demanding a rematch here. But, I am sure that Batista and possibly even Vince McMahon get involved here and throw in a few twists. My prediction is that Steve Austin comes out to even the sides and ends the night with an old fashioned Stone Cold Stunner on Vince McMahon for old time’s sake.

For all of the criticism that the WWE generally receives, I think they have done a better job of building up this year’s WrestleMania than they have done in quite some time. Considering all of the goofy angles the WWE threw at us last year building up the Triple H-Randy Orton match, this year’s buildup is a welcome breath of fresh air. Throw on top of the above mentioned a likely appearance by Bret Hart and I can’t think of a better way to bring home the road to WrestleMania XXVI.

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Continuing the abundance of gimmicked pay per view events, World Wrestling Entertainment presents its annual WWE Elimination Chamber PPV this Sunday. The event is being billed as “A Superstar’s Last Chance to Main Event WrestleMania”. With only 4 matches on the card, one can argue that the event is weak. Personally, I think SmackDown’s Elimination Chamber match alone is worth the money. Let’s look at the lineup:

For the Vacated Diva’s Championship:
Gail Kim vs. Maryse

I actually want to see this one. I’ve always been high on both women. Kim has been successful; winning the WWE Women’s Championship in her debut match as well as the TNA Knockouts Championship. She has the potential to make history by being the first woman to hold all 3 major women’s championships in the wrestling world today. Maryse plays the snooty b**ch role well & has natural charisma. I’m really enjoying her character as a tweener. This match will hopefully be a great offering between two of WWE’s ladies.

Predicted Winner: Maryse
Who Should Win: Maryse (Like I said. She is a strong heel & brings a lot to the table. Personally, I’d like to see ShowMiz turn into a stable with her joining. Gold.)

Intercontinental Title Match:
Drew McIntyre (C) vs. Kane

I don’t understand the appeal behind McIntyre. Maybe I’m blind…I don’t know. Kane is…well…Kane & has probably done all he’s going to do in WWE. In fact, I’m not sure why this match is on the PPV.

Predicted Winner: Kane via DQ
Who Should Win: Drew McIntyre CLEANLY (While I may not get the appeal behind him, push the young guy!)

World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match:
The Undertaker (C) vs. Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk vs. RTruth vs. Rey Mysterio

This is the money match right here IMO. Look for Morrison & RTruth to hopefully be given a chance to shine here. Having former World Champions in the match to possibly eliminate & to make them look stronger in the eyes of the fans is also a huge plus. But as good as the match looks, it’s also highly predictable.

Predicted Winner & New World Champion: Chris Jericho, leading to Y2J vs. Edge for the World Championship at WrestleMania.
Who Should Win: I think WWE should shock everyone & give Morrison a chance to run with the belt. There’s enough heat in the backstory between Edge & Jericho that they don’t need a title for their match.

WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match:
Sheamus (C) vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Triple H vs. Ted DiBiase

If this match doesn’t scream “WrestleMania Foreshadowing”, I don’t know what does. Look for a set up to Orton/DiBiase at Mania & for Kofi to possibly get one up on Orton. As for who’s winning…

Predicted Winner & New WWE Champion: Randy Orton, leading to Orton vs. DiBiase for the WWE Title at Mania.
Who Should Win: Triple H, setting up Hunter vs. HBK for the WWE Title at WrestleMania (FORGET HBK/Taker 2…HHH/HBK for the belt at Mania is the money match. Lightning will not strike twice if HBK & Taker try to one up last year’s encounter.)

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